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UK Politics The Brexit thread (or All -not- quiet on the western front)

And why exactly should UK get a pass when it comes to European integration? Are they going to... leave?
They shouldn't, but they won't part with GBP, you know that.
 
This is a public service announcement:

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This was a public service announcement.

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This was Scotland being Scotland.
 
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-03-10/brexit-and-australias-relationship-with-britain/10879914

"How Britain resolves — or fails to resolve — Brexit and the terms of its divorce from Europe, is of more than passing interest to Australia. It is a bit like watching a loved grandparent in physical and mental decline. You care for them deeply. You appreciate all they have done for you. But each day they become more inwardly focused. Their world contracts. They seem increasingly incoherent. Much of the value of Britain as a trading partner to Australian firms is that it is an English-speaking gateway to accessing the far larger €14,800 billion European market. So if Britain leaves the single market, it may prove easier for Australian firms to bypass the UK and trade directly with the individual EU countries where our goods are sold. Our British grandparent remains loved, but they are not as important to us as they once were. Now we have younger friends. We may not have known them for as long. And they might not have affected us as much. But with China already accounting for more than a quarter of our exports, Indonesia having just signed a free trade agreement with us and destined to become the seventh largest economy in the world by 2030, ever more clearly these are the relationships that Australia must focus on and develop to enhance our economy and position in the world."
 
What do you mean by that?
OK.

UK wishes to leave the EU.

Why? Was there some great scandal I missed? Some great international dissatisfaction?

OK. So now they seem to have separated...

But UK is panicking.

If they wanted to leave and they got it, why are they panicking?
 
OK.

UK wishes to leave the EU.

Why? Was there some great scandal I missed? Some great international dissatisfaction?

OK. So now they seem to have separated...

But UK is panicking.

If they wanted to leave and they got it, why are they panicking?

Have you read the news in the past 3 years or so?
 
OK.

UK wishes to leave the EU.

Why? Was there some great scandal I missed? Some great international dissatisfaction?

OK. So now they seem to have separated...

But UK is panicking.

If they wanted to leave and they got it, why are they panicking?
Oh. How to explain this... For forty years, the British government, moreso than most Continental ones (which did it a lot already), blamed pretty much everything bad on the EU even when they were the ones who actually made the decisions. The tabloids are owned by billionnaires who hate how the EU, unlike the UK and US governments, doesn't bow to them or hurries to give them tax breaks and undue advantages. Add to this a pretty unhealthy "Special Relationship" in which UK was all but vassalized by the US while a lot of lube was applied to pretend that they were roughly equal partners and that Britannia was still just as great and awesome as it was during World War II. Then cover the meal with a political caste that is incredibly inbred (in the figurative and possibly a bit litteral sense as well), making cunning plans that would not even pass a Blackadder test.

Come three really, really schmart guyz (in Ork criteria, that is), named David Cameron, Boris Johnson and Nigel Farage, respectively 1) Prime Minister for Her Majesty the Coolest and Most Badass Queen there is, Elizabeth II, 2) professional political clown with ambission and 3) cowardly rat, professional political martyr and overall shining example of inbreeding, leader of the anti-EU party UKIP, former investment banker and current member of the European Parliament (yes, I know, don't fucking ask). Pictured below, Nigel Farage talking out of his ass at the European Parliament. And, no, this picture is NOT edited:

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They all had a really cunning plan, you see. David Cameron would organize a vote to leave the EU, that would OBVIOUSLY lead to a short Remain advantage, so that he could go to Brussels and extort more advantages to UK's membership under the threat of leaving, which he didn't want to do anyway. Boris Johnson would support the Leave campaign, which would OBVIOUSLY fail but would put him in a highly visible position to be the next Prime Minister. Nigel Farage would campaign for the Leave, which would OBVIOUSLY lose, so as to pass as an oppressed martyr and heat up his troops for the next general election. A cunning plan, yes.

Until the Leave won and all these cunning men had no idea whatsoever what to do.

Cameron resigned and left an incompetent ambitious minister become PM (Theresa May), BoJo started shitposting IRL (like literally calling the EU Nazis in the media, somehow hoping that noone would read it in the EU) and Farage ran away saying that "his job was done", all the while grabbing for himself a EU passport to get out of dodge while he still could. At that time, Lizzie was binge-watching Hellsing Abridged, desperately wishing she could call Alucard and tell him to have a long, long walk wherever the three stooges currently were. She decided to do this to them:

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But as her PR manager told her she couldn't, she decided to send Bond to kill them all:

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Her PR manager told her Bond doesn't exist, so she settled on trolling the shit out of them:

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So... yeah. Here comes a new PM, Theresa May, with the job of getting this Brexit issue in order. Good news, though, the referendum isn't in any way binding and she wasn't really involved in the campaign, even being a bit pro-Remain, so she can easily wrap the whole thing and not give a shit. There would be a smirk or two in Brussels, but that's it, right?

She decides to call for early elections. Which she proceeds to lose, making her utterly dependent on the DUP, a Northern Irish ultra unionist party, to have a majority in the Parliament. OK, this is a blunder, but not a devastating one, right?

AND THEN SHE FUCKING DECIDES TO ACTIVATE THE ARTICLE 50 TO LEAVE THE EU.

At that point, everyone made a spit-take all over the planet, because either she has a master plan that will leave the EU as a British protectorate, or UK would be better served by having one of Lizzie's corgis as a PM. Lizzie, by the way, is currently being dogpiled by the entire SAS regiment to prevent her from going on a killing spree on top of a hand-made giant robot.

Then start a two-year countown (that ends in a few weeks at the time of posting) for UK to get an agreement to leave the EU. Cue most of this time being spent discussing within the Parliament on what deal would UK demand to the puny Europeans, and pretty much nothing else. Meanwhile, the EU twitches a bit and goes in full overdrive mode for the administrative and legal stuff to get fucking ready for EVERYTHING. The Continentals have centuries of experience being fucked by cunning British plans, so they get the fucking best negociator team ever, coordinate their response, make sure they won't backstab each other, start planning the economy and law around whatever can happen, give the Frogs responsibility for some administrative strike teams to prepare for hard Brexit, get the German industry to side with the EU, all that kind of thing that would make the Imperium of Man's Administratum shed regulated tears of pride and joy.

UK keeps wasting time and does not give a shit about the EU, claiming that the rest of the planet will immediately make super trade deals with Britannia, better even than those made with the EU. As this thread showed, it wasn't the case, to the surprise of noone, the US offering massively devastating trade deals that would gut British industries and regulations, the Commonwealth and Japan siding with EU, hard. Then they try to make agreements with individual EU countries, and get told to fuck off, even by their closest allies. Then they realize they don't even have a single trade negociator in their government as the EU did this for them over decades. Then they still continue to believe the departure agreement is an internal British affair, that the Continentals will take as is when the Parliament has reached an agreement. Then they start, more than a year in, to negociate with the EU, that has backed absolutely everything with titanium carbide legalese, to protect its interests.

Then UK realizes it might be in trouble, particularly as its economy is so thoroughly integrated with the European Union's that its industry would collapse overnight if nothing was done and the imports/exports from the continent got blocked in colossal checkpoints. Also, 18 months in (out of 24), UK realizes it doesn't even have planned anything about cross-Channel transportation or customs, leading to the expectations of 50 km long (or more) traffic jams near the Channel, filled with trucks supposed to work on a Just-In-Time industrial model.

And then comes Ireland. Southern Ireland (SI) is massively pro-EU, and has no desire to leave or to come back in UK. It also shares a border with Northern Ireland (NI). Now, for some decades, there was a little thing called "The Troubles", involving bombs, mortar shots at Downing Street, gunfights, that kind of fun. It was mostly solved through the EU-sponsored Good Friday Agreement, that involves an open border between NI and SI. If UK leaves EU fully, that border will be closed, leading to the collapse of that Agreement and the return of the Troubles. NI cannot remain in the EU customs union on its own, it would mean having a border with the rest of UK, and the Irish Unionists, who hold May's majority by the balls, would die before that happens.





We're less than a month to the deadline, and the British government makes a headless chicken looks like the lovechild of Creed and Kira in terms of plan making. And Elizabeth is ready to sell the Jewels to pay 47 to execute a mass contract on the idiots.




Does anyone has anything to correct to this post? Anyone? Anything at all?

@Horton Can this be threadmarked, please?
 
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You forgot to mention that they massively rejected the soft Brexit option in the biggest loss for a ruling government in almost a century and have thus trapped themselves in a "Hard Brexit" or "No Brexit" binary choice as you simply can't renegotiate the whole deal in three months (if there is an extension of the deadline), let alone less than twl weeks. Nor is the EU willing to bulge on what was already negotiated as they have already given the UK everything that did not jeopardize the perennity and the stability of the Union.
 
Oh, right. Well, I can't edit my post now, but yep, that need to be added to the reasons why Lizzie is sharpening her knife collections and training her corgi horde to become assassins.
 
Oh, right. Well, I can't edit my post now, but yep, that need to be added to the reasons why Lizzie is sharpening her knife collections and training her corgi horde to become assassins.
... Wow.

A greater amount of government incompetence and idoicy that I thought possible.

I thought this was satire.
Have you read the news in the past 3 years or so?
Nope.
 
Large numbers of people didn't think the EU was helping Britain and was unaccountable for its actions. They also saw mass migration and didn't like the idea of it coming into the UK through the EU free movement system. They chose to separate in order to regain control of UK sovereignty, the question now is whether that will actually happen.
The ones who voted to leave I've spoken to are fine with a few percent off GDP if it returns Sovereignty, so the common argument about losing wealth has no affect and this is why Government is in the shit because that is the best card they have to play.
 
Large numbers of people didn't think the EU was helping Britain and was unaccountable for its actions. They also saw mass migration and didn't like the idea of it coming into the UK through the EU free movement system. They chose to separate in order to regain control of UK sovereignty, the question now is whether that will actually happen.
The ones who voted to leave I've spoken to are fine with a few percent off GDP if it returns Sovereignty, so the common argument about losing wealth has no affect and this is why Government is in the shit because that is the best card they have to play.
Yeah, they just don't understand what they are getting themselves into, particularly with how they have no allies whatsoever now.
 
Yeah, they just don't understand what they are getting themselves into, particularly with how they have no allies whatsoever now.
You forgot above that there are in both NI and especially Scotland movements and strong political parties that plan to secede from the united kingdom making it a very propable possibility that brexit wilö lead to the end of britain itself
 
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