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Rage of Creation: My latest combined worldbuiding project

I feel like I'm gonna continue to write about the group of Elaine worshippers I made up, 'the Sisters of Elaine.' They're all women, they employ acceptance and forgiveness based teachings, they often proselytize at the homeless and desperate girls who aren't loved by their families. The girls do chores, pray to Elaine, take different Vows (from silence to poverty to submit themselves before their Goddess and learn how to live according to Elaine's values--According to them Elaine values girls that know how to survive without riches or if they were criminals formerly to take a vow of silence). The Sisters of Elaine require them never to cut their hair, they encourage lesbianism as they are a lil scared of men because of Elaine's Daddy... so they are kinda twisting some of Elaine's personality yet they truly love all the girls that join them and wanna help them.
 
@Sarcobite

Are you ok if I use a couple of your ideas for a write up I'm doing?

I'm going to call it the Scorched Wastes.

It involves a couple things concerning that fire thing from the prior universe, I'd look it up but I'm posting this real quick while on break at work.
 
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The Arbiters, the elite super soilder half angel force of the Shal'do. The most intense training, with the finest equipment, to make a fighting force that turns the tide of battles.

The Arbiters are divided into diffrent Sects, each with diffrent combat tactics, preferred equipment, aesthitics, etc.
Here are some sects

The Vanguard: the all-male sect, they prefer melee weaponary or even hand to hand. Preferred weapons: Slicer swords, kinetic maces, electro spears" etcThey train and spar all the time, and are always ready for battle. Honor, diginty, abd duty are important values, and while they may seem like macho men, they are the best close quarters combatants in the Shal'do
Their commander is Bruton Alaco, a huge man, even for an aribter who values strength. He fights not only for glory and honor, but to protect his wife and children. He who fights for his family is a true man he thinks.
" We are the front line. We pave the path to victory with our skill and our blood. Rage our sword, will our sheild. We will not surrender. We will never give in. We fight to crush our foes, and to protect those behind us. We are men, and a man is always ready to fight for his family.

There power armoer colors are red and orange.

The Scorned
The All-female sect, they inspire terror into their foes. Psychological warfare, Ambush tactics, bombings" they crush morale and their enimies all the same. They use weaponary that may be cruel, but all those on the receving end deserve it.
Preferred weapons: Purifiers, flesh renders, pressure bombs, etc
 
The Arbiters, the elite super soilder half angel force of the Shal'do. The most intense training, with the finest equipment, to make a fighting force that turns the tide of battles.

The Arbiters are divided into diffrent Sects, each with diffrent combat tactics, preferred equipment, aesthitics, etc.
Here are some sects

The Vanguard: the all-male sect, they prefer melee weaponary or even hand to hand. Preferred weapons: Slicer swords, kinetic maces, electro spears" etcThey train and spar all the time, and are always ready for battle. Honor, diginty, abd duty are important values, and while they may seem like macho men, they are the best close quarters combatants in the Shal'do
Their commander is Bruton Alaco, a huge man, even for an aribter who values strength. He fights not only for glory and honor, but to protect his wife and children. He who fights for his family is a true man he thinks.
" We are the front line. We pave the path to victory with our skill and our blood. Rage our sword, will our sheild. We will not surrender. We will never give in. We fight to crush our foes, and to protect those behind us. We are men, and a man is always ready to fight for his family.

There power armoer colors are red and orange.

The Scorned
The All-female sect, they inspire terror into their foes. Psychological warfare, Ambush tactics, bombings" they crush morale and their enimies all the same. They use weaponary that may be cruel, but all those on the receving end deserve it.
Preferred weapons: Purifiers, flesh renders, pressure bombs, etc
Their commander is Jade Verkan, a ruthless and sadistic women who rains holy vengance upon the wicked.
"We are karma. We deilver vengance upon those who have sinned. We will teach them to fear god. To fear justice. Let our posion and our napalm be their punishment.
We will show no mercy nor relent, for they deserve none. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."
Their power armoer colors are black and red

They have a bit of a rivialry with the Vangurads
 
A spell for the Sisters of Elaine:

Song of Forgiveness: Sing a melody about girls and their precious secrets. It allows you to grant someone who has sinned a second chance at life. This Song only brings back peoples who have committed grave sins who wish for forgiveness and the grace of Elaine to teach them about living with the horrors of the Dead Cosmos. They are brought back in different bodies created by Elaine. Thru this spell someone could be transformed into a girl, a bug, a kitty, really anything Elaine feels is appropriate to relieve them of their sins. Having a different body is not a punishment to those that hear this Song, as they wished for a second chance however they still have the same personality, thoughts and emotions. Unless hormones changes their minds, or new life experiences, they will remain the same person and Elaine hopes to teach them thru their rebirth to cherish their lives.
 
Shal'do are elves, right? Or are they humans? I forgot what they were ah ha. Sorry. Aaanyway what I really like about an all female fighting team is like, I feel like girls would be less likely to escalate a conflict, most of the dudes I've met into military culture seem sooo angry that it's just... what are they angry at? So girls may be more sensitive and consider what they're doing more. I dunno ah ha. Would women be 'better at war' than the ppls that started organized war? @Sarcobite
 
Shal'do are elves, right? Or are they humans? I forgot what they were ah ha. Sorry. Aaanyway what I really like about an all female fighting team is like, I feel like girls would be less likely to escalate a conflict, most of the dudes I've met into military culture seem sooo angry that it's just... what are they angry at? So girls may be more sensitive and consider what they're doing more. I dunno ah ha. Would women be 'better at war' than the ppls that started organized war? @Sarcobite
Being a raging bloodthirsty asshole is something both Genders can easily be.
 
I'm here, It's my Saturday, It's 2:12pm and I'm going to write.
 
The Scorched Wastes

In the times before, when the New Gods ruled an cosmos rife with life and peace; they wrote upon the fabric of reality, dictating their flawed ideals order upon the infinities. Who were they to command such an ancient place? A place timeless, possessing the cruel wisdom that only uncounted eons of existence could bestow. The hubris of the New Gods knew no bound for they thought themselves mighty, deathless, and unbound. They thought wrong.

Mighty only as parasites upon the weak of will and mind, for they had no strength of their own. Deathless nay, only fools who denied the only truth upon the universe they ever wrote. Unbound? No, for they trapped themselves within a gilded fortress of lies and denial long ago. The New gods were not blind, but still they could not see. All fell to Gu'lal the Serpent King, First Son of E'trus the Birther of Titans, and The Mystic Sovereign Emperor of Entropy. All accept one.

Dathger Light Bringer, Champion of the Just, Eagle of Freedom, The Exalted Sun for all his folly was no fool, he know that the pillars by which is temple stood could be as that of salt and crumble against the coming tide. He plotted and skeemed, lied and cheated, Oh what the noble wolf does to it's pack when confronted with annihilation. With his foul deeds and treacherous acts time was indeed bought at prices most steep. Was it enough?

The Exalted Sun built a thunderous inferno upon a sacrificial pyre within an obsidian dish. It breathed not of the essence of his followers as he, but of its own will to burn. Next he cast side his own existence knowing it was not for long to imbue upon this flame with qualities of indomitably as to make it anathema to our glorious Sovereign. Finally as he fell into the Abyss of Ends the Light Bringer instilled the Indomitable Flame into his most principled of pawns so that the greatest of games may continue on with only a single piece of white against the Darkness.

The story of Palaken Sakrturn is one I do not wish to tell though for his is long and storied and I grew weaker by the moment. No I wish to tell you of the Scorched Wastes.


The Scorched Wastes lie at the heart of the dead cosmos, the only thing that remains from the time before. As the old reality crumbled down and unwound into nothingness, the Obsidian dish upon which the Indomitable flame burned held embers that shined brightly through the most utter of darknesses. The harsh light reached out across the void and at the place in which the light and dark achieved equilibrium the debris gathered, and were reborn into a desert forever in a eternal blaze. There in these Scorched Wastes the wind of destruction blows with vigor and heat, the Obsidian embers beat down upon the lands with a hot vengeful brightness, and no life can endure that does not feed upon death like carrion birds.

Upon the Scorched Wastes walk the the 2,322 Chosen Knights of Dathger Defender of the Just, and their 12 companions. For they have embarked upon an eternal crusade across the wastes that sustain them to purge the denizens of the dead cosmos that seek to unmake this cursed land. Do not fear though, for these suits of mail do not contain invisible warriors, they are all but hollow shells of crude matter, that can only achieve definition through their pointless conflict with the lowly imps that infest the Wastes like vermin. They are no luminous beings, just those sustained by the final protest of a dead god. This is their eternal punishment for daring to fight for justice in a long forgotten place and sacrificing their freewill to endure as automatons.

Here they are, dirty, faceless and sullied. Their existence, a reprehensible sin to the long passed Lord who's instruction they still wish to heed. Now On their own, they bare the heat of the desert, covered in the ash of the innocent, and do their duty hoping their eagle will rise still.

The Inheritors have uses for the dead wastes though, the Knower of Secrets understood what the New Gods refused to, that their Cosmos of Life brought with it death and all it's finalities. Just as The Old Cosmos begot the Dead Cosmos, so does the Scorched Wastes begot a true death for all that is Necromatter. The Inheritors use the Wastes as a forge to craft an end that can not be returned from by their enemies. The Obsidian Embered Sun, a kiln to make the Iron Blood hot, the ancient desert and anvil on which to strike.

NOTE PLEASE READ FIRST: laptop just died, if this wasn't backed up on FiC's server well.. few... anyway I'd normally run this through a second draft before posting to titen it up, make sure everything is connected and fluid, and if nothing else correct the spelling, but I'm going to be stuck on this phone fora while so that's going to come later.
 
The Scorched Wastes

In the times before, when the New Gods ruled an cosmos rife with life and peace; they wrote upon the fabric of reality, dictating their flawed ideals order upon the infinities. Who were they to command such an ancient place? A place timeless, possessing the cruel wisdom that only uncounted eons of existence could bestow. The hubris of the New Gods knew no bound for they thought themselves mighty, deathless, and unbound. They thought wrong.

Mighty only as parasites upon the weak of will and mind, for they had no strength of their own. Deathless nay, only fools who denied the only truth upon the universe they ever wrote. Unbound? No, for they trapped themselves within a gilded fortress of lies and denial long ago. The New gods were not blind, but still they could not see. All fell to Gu'lal the Serpent King, First Son of E'trus the Birther of Titans, and The Mystic Sovereign Emperor of Entropy. All accept one.

Dathger Light Bringer, Champion of the Just, Eagle of Freedom, The Exalted Sun for all his folly was no fool, he know that the pillars by which is temple stood could be as that of salt and crumble against the coming tide. He plotted and skeemed, lied and cheated, Oh what the noble wolf does to it's pack when confronted with annihilation. With his foul deeds and treacherous acts time was indeed bought at prices most steep. Was it enough?

The Exalted Sun built a thunderous inferno upon a sacrificial pyre within an obsidian dish. It breathed not of the essence of his followers as he, but of its own will to burn. Next he cast side his own existence knowing it was not for long to imbue upon this flame with qualities of indomitably as to make it anathema to our glorious Sovereign. Finally as he fell into the Abyss of Ends the Light Bringer instilled the Indomitable Flame into his most principled of pawns so that the greatest of games may continue on with only a single piece of white against the Darkness.

The story of Palaken Sakrturn is one I do not wish to tell though for his is long and storied and I grew weaker by the moment. No I wish to tell you of the Scorched Wastes.


The Scorched Wastes lie at the heart of the dead cosmos, the only thing that remains from the time before. As the old reality crumbled down and unwound into nothingness, the Obsidian dish upon which the Indomitable flame burned held embers that shined brightly through the most utter of darknesses. The harsh light reached out across the void and at the place in which the light and dark achieved equilibrium the debris gathered, and were reborn into a desert forever in a eternal blaze. There in these Scorched Wastes the wind of destruction blows with vigor and heat, the Obsidian embers beat down upon the lands with a hot vengeful brightness, and no life can endure that does not feed upon death like carrion birds.

Upon the Scorched Wastes walk the the 2,322 Chosen Knights of Dathger Defender of the Just, and their 12 companions. For they have embarked upon an eternal crusade across the wastes that sustain them to purge the denizens of the dead cosmos that seek to unmake this cursed land. Do not fear though, for these suits of mail do not contain invisible warriors, they are all but hollow shells of crude matter, that can only achieve definition through their pointless conflict with the lowly imps that infest the Wastes like vermin. They are no luminous beings, just those sustained by the final protest of a dead god. This is their eternal punishment for daring to fight for justice in a long forgotten place and sacrificing their freewill to endure as automatons.

Here they are, dirty, faceless and sullied. Their existence, a reprehensible sin to the long passed Lord who's instruction they still wish to heed. Now On their own, they bare the heat of the desert, covered in the ash of the innocent, and do their duty hoping their eagle will rise still.

The Inheritors have uses for the dead wastes though, the Knower of Secrets understood what the New Gods refused to, that their Cosmos of Life brought with it death and all it's finalities. Just as The Old Cosmos begot the Dead Cosmos, so does the Scorched Wastes begot a true death for all that is Necromatter. The Inheritors use the Wastes as a forge to craft an end that can not be returned from by their enemies. The Obsidian Embered Sun, a kiln to make the Iron Blood hot, the ancient desert and anvil on which to strike.

NOTE PLEASE READ FIRST: laptop just died, if this wasn't backed up on FiC's server well.. few... anyway I'd normally run this through a second draft before posting to titen it up, make sure everything is connected and fluid, and if nothing else correct the spelling, but I'm going to be stuck on this phone fora while so that's going to come later.
I can find nothing wrong with it and as always epic. Getting a Dark Soulish vibe from it.
 
I can find nothing wrong with it and as always epic. Getting a Dark Soulish vibe from it.
Thank you. I've never played any of the souls games and though I like 40k I've never read any of its books or fan fiction. You mentioned the similarities earlier.
 
Thank you. I've never played any of the souls games and though I like 40k I've never read any of its books or fan fiction. You mentioned the similarities earlier.
@JUSTSOMEALIN had never read Berserk but entire plot points of his books were almost exactly similar in broad strokes to it. A great work if fiction he has written by the way.
 
@JUSTSOMEALIN had never read Berserk but entire plot points of his books were almost exactly similar in broad strokes to it. A great work if fiction he has written by the way.
Yup. Like the Blood Moon, it's almost a mirror image of the Eclipse. And Slay going from a mostly innocent child to the new DoomSlayer is similar to Guts becoming the Black Swordsman.

I was more so inspired by Dark Souls though.
 
Looks pretty cool so far.
 
Yes I am. Such good Worldbuilding though it is chaotic and overly prosy here and there but it has potential. :)

Great job everyone!
HOW DARE YOU PROVIDE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM!!!!! I DEMAND UNABASHED PRAISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Anyway yeah, everything I've written could be described as a rough draft and I find that prose come easily to me. I'm wanting to clean everything up a bit, may not have time.... actually sense I'm already here....
 
HOW DARE YOU PROVIDE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM!!!!! I DEMAND UNABASHED PRAISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Anyway yeah, everything I've written could be described as a rough draft and I find that prose come easily to me. I'm wanting to clean everything up a bit, may not have time.... actually sense I'm already here....
I believe the overly prose refers to me. You are quite understandable while I am more like the Purple the PURPLE!!!!
 
HOW DARE YOU PROVIDE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM!!!!! I DEMAND UNABASHED PRAISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Anyway yeah, everything I've written could be described as a rough draft and I find that prose come easily to me. I'm wanting to clean everything up a bit, may not have time.... actually sense I'm already here....
YOU GET WHAT I SAY YOU GET! :p

I can help you and @Dark God in PM with it. Besides, I get to introduce you all to the fun canon welding I am doing.
I believe the overly prose refers to me. You are quite understandable while I am more like the Purple the PURPLE!!!!
Yeah referring to you mostly. Some of the words you use in the prose really somewhat contradict some of the established tones you set here or just don't make sense/excessive in this case on top of alot of name dropping without elaborating on what they mean or definition or description on seemingly important things dropped here.
 
You asked me to look at this and ... honestly, right now I am not sure what to say, it is entirely a realm of metaphysical, formless realm of gods, demons, eldritch abominations or similar creatures for which laws of physics (or perhaps even logic or reality) means a very little.

It reminds me a little bit of Exalted, your initial posts is similar to how their universe is introduced.
Almost anything is possible, and there is nothing much I can pick apart, question etc.

So, sorry, I am not entirely sure there.

Perhaps, could you make some structured summary of the universe, how it supposed to look like, who lives in there etc.
 
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