What's new
Frozen in Carbonite

Welcome to FiC! Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Rage of Creation: My latest combined worldbuiding project

I don't have better names yet I can offer a story about orcs?

Mairekha prepared the runes around the bonfire to keep it going as long as they wished. She wrote them carefully with a brush doused in a mixture of pigments derived from local plants. The bonfire roared happily and ate the endless fuel the runes provided.

Mairekha was tall: About seven feet. And she was muscular for a girl her age. She could lift heavy objects and move them easily, fight with the best of them and drink heavily with little ill effects aside from being a little more lovey. She kept her long purplish hair in a braid that reaches almost to the ground. Her skin was rich forest green and she had tusks which she pierced several times.

"Mai, are you coming to join us?" A male orc asks her loudly from across the way.

There were several orcs sitting around the bonfire. They were discussing how they had chosen to continue studying Bal's Blood, for it brought them great strength and fortitude. They had woven magic into their everyday lives and considered it the act of a true fighter to use magic.

Mai went to go sit down, crossing her legs, and staying with the others.

"I'm nervous about this fight. Do we really have to fight our brothers and sisters, the humans, Children of Man just like us?" Mai asks nervously.

"No, we don't have to fight anyone. Yet they believe we are savages. That our connection to Bal makes us angry and dangerous." The male orc to her right, with one missing eye covered by a leather patch, responds.

Mai places her hands on her hips.

"Why would some misaimed prejudice from humans drive us so close to open war?" She seems distressed by this revelation.

"They've been trying to build cities where ours once stood. They attempt to send emissaries to convince us to take up with Elaine. We cannot just change our path whenever it fits our needs. We must remain steadfast in our traditions." He said.

Mai lowered her eyes to the ground. Would the humans believing them to be savages drive them into a conflict they could not conceal, which would bring all the humans' allies with them? Or could they continue their guerrilla campaign just a moment longer and save themselves from a fight that would doubtlessly cost much lives and much bloodshed?
Stories are always fine. I got a Omake with Bal cooking up that will show off his character a bit. Now if I could make myself focus on it instead if doing everything else would be good. Turns out you have to write words to tell a story. Who would have thought?
 
I don't have better names yet I can offer a story about orcs?

Mairekha prepared the runes around the bonfire to keep it going as long as they wished. She wrote them carefully with a brush doused in a mixture of pigments derived from local plants. The bonfire roared happily and ate the endless fuel the runes provided.

Mairekha was tall: About seven feet. And she was muscular for a girl her age. She could lift heavy objects and move them easily, fight with the best of them and drink heavily with little ill effects aside from being a little more lovey. She kept her long purplish hair in a braid that reaches almost to the ground. Her skin was rich forest green and she had tusks which she pierced several times.

"Mai, are you coming to join us?" A male orc asks her loudly from across the way.

There were several orcs sitting around the bonfire. They were discussing how they had chosen to continue studying Bal's Blood, for it brought them great strength and fortitude. They had woven magic into their everyday lives and considered it the act of a true fighter to use magic.

Mai went to go sit down, crossing her legs, and staying with the others.

"I'm nervous about this fight. Do we really have to fight our brothers and sisters, the humans, Children of Man just like us?" Mai asks nervously.

"No, we don't have to fight anyone. Yet they believe we are savages. That our connection to Bal makes us angry and dangerous." The male orc to her right, with one missing eye covered by a leather patch, responds.

Mai places her hands on her hips.

"Why would some misaimed prejudice from humans drive us so close to open war?" She seems distressed by this revelation.

"They've been trying to build cities where ours once stood. They attempt to send emissaries to convince us to take up with Elaine. We cannot just change our path whenever it fits our needs. We must remain steadfast in our traditions." He said.

Mai lowered her eyes to the ground. Would the humans believing them to be savages drive them into a conflict they could not conceal, which would bring all the humans' allies with them? Or could they continue their guerrilla campaign just a moment longer and save themselves from a fight that would doubtlessly cost much lives and much bloodshed?
Ah yes. Guerila fighters are bad. But 7+ foot tall, super strong and tough orcs are much, much worse.
 
Stories are always fine. I got a Omake with Bal cooking up that will show off his character a bit. Now if I could make myself focus on it instead if doing everything else would be good. Turns out you have to write words to tell a story. Who would have thought?
I like Elaine's background. And her and Bal's relationship makes me happy like a schoolgirl. Their love is described in such a way that it seems painful at times, and twisted, like all the children of demons would be I imagine.

Ah yes. Guerila fighters are bad. But 7+ foot tall, super strong and tough orcs are much, much worse.
They have to duck a little lower than most to hide themselves yet like they've got magic to wreck buildings, hide themselves and increase their natural strength and durability so it's kinda unfair on the humans. If they didn't have Elaine's creation stuffs.
 
I like Elaine's background. And her and Bal's relationship makes me happy like a schoolgirl. Their love is described in such a way that it seems painful at times, and twisted, like all the children of demons would be I imagine.


They have to duck a little lower than most to hide themselves yet like they've got magic to wreck buildings, hide themselves and increase their natural strength and durability so it's kinda unfair on the humans. If they didn't have Elaine's creation stuffs.
You will like the uncompleted Omake at the bottom of the that dump of posts I posted.
 
Just that she was better at soothing it and learning to find her own way of acting in the world her Father had made. A way supported by her Father's strange love of art and beauty, her siblings could fight and slaughter all they wanted and her Father would give them all the proper praise they needed but only she was interested in the collection he had made on his warpath through the Dead Cosmos.
How did Elaine come to be so empathetic anyways when she used to mercilessly hunt prey like the rest of her kind? I feel like the main problem we have is the chars undergo personality shifts too quickly. How to explain that? Maybe some crisis happened during which Elaine and Bal learned to love ah ha. My best idea would be some kind of mental health crisis. Like maybe Elaine's murdery rage conflicted with her girlishness? And she wanna help others because she reached the depths of depression or something. Bal is more difficult. Maybe he fought the wrong person and they beat him, which made him realize the need to ask others like Elaine for help?
 
How did Elaine come to be so empathetic anyways when she used to mercilessly hunt prey like the rest of her kind? I feel like the main problem we have is the chars undergo personality shifts too quickly. How to explain that? Maybe some crisis happened during which Elaine and Bal learned to love ah ha. My best idea would be some kind of mental health crisis. Like maybe Elaine's murdery rage conflicted with her girlishness? And she wanna help others because she reached the depths of depression or something. Bal is more difficult. Maybe he fought the wrong person and they beat him, which made him realize the need to ask others like Elaine for help?
Its a uncompleted Omake for a reason. I got a better explanation coming and for Iron Sorcery do you have any more attack type powers ideas rather then passive over time stuff changes in body and mind?
 
A thank you to Sarcobite for reminding me this was a thing. I am a busy Inquisitor. Apologies for my lateness.
 
Attack powers:

Stars' Tears: Elaine helps the sorceress create falling stars that glow with a burning electric colored light. They crash into the ground and cause mass confusion, burning large areas of land and leaving impact crators, and causing a small amount of damage over time to hit enemies. A spell that requires great mastery of Elaine's calling to do.

Burning Blood: Use Bal's power to enrage yourself. You do extra damage due to your increased strength from your fury yet as well have the chance to hit allies.

Create Life: Return the spark of life to a dead or dying person or animal. It works to grow plants, create lakes and rivers, and must be called upon by a mistress level sorceress.

Create Death: Cause the afflicted target to die. One of the first spells learned by Iron Sorcerers and also one of the most difficult to use.
 
Attack powers:

Stars' Tears: Elaine helps the sorceress create falling stars that glow with a burning electric colored light. They crash into the ground and cause mass confusion, burning large areas of land and leaving impact crators, and causing a small amount of damage over time to hit enemies. A spell that requires great mastery of Elaine's calling to do.

Burning Blood: Use Bal's power to enrage yourself. You do extra damage due to your increased strength from your fury yet as well have the chance to hit allies.

Create Life: Return the spark of life to a dead or dying person or animal. It works to grow plants, create lakes and rivers, and must be called upon by a mistress level sorceress.

Create Death: Cause the afflicted target to die. One of the first spells learned by Iron Sorcerers and also one of the most difficult to use.
I would threadmark if I could and starlight tears meteor bombardment? That's something else. More work has been done on the Omake and I will keep at it.
 
Ok i've read some more, still not nearly finished (so excuse the inconsistencies), I'm also fixing to go to bed, and don't have access to a keyboard right now, but I know you're chomping at the bit for new content so I'll provide my half formed idea.

Edit: This took longer then expected I didn't mean to write this much....

Forward

I love your creation myth and it's parental focus. Elaine in particular immediately interested me (like kitten I asked myself why she's so kind) and well, creation myths do need a love story to explain why people like to touch butts. So I present you The Lord of Pain, Knower of Secrets, Master of Suffering, Inheritor of Sorrow, Keeper of Tribulation, The Impossible Revenant of Torment, K'ion the Eternal.
_________________________________________________________________________________

Confrontations and Implications

Few Inheritors dare challenged K'ion the Eternal for he is a being that embodies torment in all it's forms. Some say that he existed long ago in the times of light and that the cataclysm that destroyed all only served to wound him, that wound in the fabric of entropy is what fuels his Eternal power and pain. Others belive K'ion has always existed becouse the pain and suffering that sustains him always has. Regardless though, all Inheritors know that as pain persists so does K'ion, as long as there is suffering he shall draw breath and grow in strength.

In the oldest eras when the dying embers of life still warmed the dead Cosmos and the Inheritors numbered great, many sought to test their strength against the Master of Suffering, to achieve definition in conquest and consumption of his essence. Again and again, time after time, they struck K'ion down with such might that even an Inheritors such as he could not survive, but in turn they were broken all the more by their acts. Such expressions of futility were they. K'ion sprang back from the space between voids as if a reality unto himself, and ended his foe as they cursed out the name of this Impossible revenant of Torment.

K'ion and Bal clashed many times across the eons as the Unstoppable Force and Immovable Object naturally would. The blade of Annihilation that only the Iron Devil could wield slough K'ion as easily as it did anything else, yet K'ion would not yield. Our Titans of the Cosmos would still be locked in an endless struggle for all eternities, if it weren't for a stirring within Bal as he struck done K'ion for that first time, and every time after. The Storm Reaver felt no joy, no pleasure from engaging in K'ion's annihilation. No he felt something else. Something he had never felt before... was it pity? Sorrow? Pain? Only Bal truly knows, but the whole of creation saw what had never been seen before. The Wielder of the Sword of Annihilation ceased his assault, sheathed his blade, and sought to sate his thirst elsewhere.
_________________________________________________________________________________

Passions Learned and Passions Tought

Elaine, first born of Bal, Lord of Fire and Darkness, Eldest of Scions, was forbidden from entering the Realm of Tribulation, where K'ion the Eternal Dwelled as all Bal's Children were. Elaine though, she broke her father's rules, as all children seeking to become wise do.

The young, brash girl full of pride and hubris like her father entered K'ions domain. What she found was not a mad Titan like her father or herself, but a man with the history of infinity sketched onto his eyes. His hands gentle, his voice soft, and his words kind. Elaine learned why her father spared the knower of Secrets that day, as he struck him down he felt no pleasure, he felt the pain he caused reflected back into himself. Elaine felt that pain too. Unlike her father, Elaine choice to stay with the Inheritor of Sorrow for a time and understand what changed inside her.

In the realm of Tribulation K'ion taught Elaine to see the pain in all things, the sorrow that pain brings, and why we should not seek it upon others. Elaine intern, taught K'ion of love he had never felt before, of companionship through his torment, for though he did bare the suffering of all creation within himself, when they were together, it was less.

Elaine learned her time with The Inheritor of Sorrow to understood the torments of her family as they perished in the primordial chaos like her father did. She decided setout to right the wrongs of creation and save the innocents born into this entropic hell with the Knower of Secrets, for her love knew of a way. A secret of the dead Cosmos, a way to purify the necro matter and render reality hospitable for the innocent. They agreed to commence the ritual in the morrow. For now though, on that night Elaine would became the Lady of Pain, Mistress of Sorrow, and together with her Lord they made a love pure and gentle like nothing else in this land of misery. For a brief moment, K'ion felt only the love of his bride, and the taste of his death upon her lips, for the pain had subsided, if but for a moment.
_________________________________________________________________________________

That next day the ritual was performed, yet something went wrong. Elaine's blood started to render into creation, the outer rings, yet it didn't stop as the lands grew and life filled the children of Bal once more so did it fade from K'ion bride...

Thw Inheritor of Sorrow weeped as he had never done before and all even the dead could hear his cries, and feel his regets. For what did he lose his love? For these small things? For this island of Bal's own vanity? No K'ion would have his bride back, and he would again experience the love that would end his journey once and for all. He reached out and...

K'ion was halted by the Inheritor of Calamity ("How fitting" he thought) and his oh so familiar Blade of Annihilation.

Bal spoke "My children have done nothing to you Keeper of Tribulations, be gone."

K'ion replied "Your children have taken everything from me Butcher of Elders."

Bal "she would of wanted it this way K'ion, you've shown us much and she gladly sacrificed herself again."

K'ion "Don't you dare claim to know what Elaine would of wanted, all you understand is destruction, all you can teach is ruin! Do you no longer care what befells even your own blood Bal?"

Bal as a single tear swells in his eye "Oh I care, I care just as much as you do Son."

K'ion "This is pointless. Know that I will bring her back, and I don't care what happens to your mound of clay Bal."

K'ion disappears from Bal's realm and Bal attempts to Shepard his children into this new land as well as he can.
 
Last edited:
Ok ive read some more, still not nearly finished, I'm also fixing to go to bed, and don't have access to a keyboard right now.

I know you're chomping at the bit for new content so I'll provide my half formed idea.

Again I haven't read anything so apologies if it doesn't fit with established lore.

Edit: This took longer then expected I didn't mean to write this much, I'm exhausted I'm not going to proof read this right now... hope you like it.

I love your creation myth and it's parental focus. Elaine in particular immediately interested me (like kitten I asked myself why she's so kind) and well ,creation myths do need a love story to explain why people like to touch butts.

So I present you The Lord of Pain, Knower of Secrets, Master of Suffering, Inheritor of Sorrow, Keeper of Tribulation, K'ion the Eternal

Few Inheritors dare challange K'ion the Eternal for he is a being that embodies torment in all it's forms. Some say that he existed long ago in the times of light and that the cataclysm that destroyed all only served to wound him, and that wound in the fabric of entropy is what fuels his power and pain; others belive K'ion has always existed becouse the pain and suffering that sustains him has always existed.

Regardless though, all Inheritors know that as pain grows more powerful so does K'ion and as long as there is suffering he shall draw breath. Many an inheritor has sought to test this theory, and struck K'ion down with such might that even an Inheritors such as he could not survive. Such action was futile though, K'ion sprang back from the space between voids as if a reality unto himself and ended his foe as they cursed out the name of this impossible revenant.

K'ion and Bal clashed many times acrossed the eons as the Unstoppable Force and Immovable Object naturally would. The blade of Annihilation slough K'ion as easily as it did anything else, but K'ion would not Yield. Our Titans of the Cosmos would still be locked in an endless struggle to this day if it weren't for a particular feeling Bal felt as he struck done K'ion for that first time and every time after.

Bal felt no joy, no pleasure from engaging in K'ion's annihilation, no he felt somthing else. Somthing Bal had never felt before... pity? Sorrow? Pain? Only Bal truly knows, but he ceased his assult on the Lord of Pain and sought to sate his thirst somewhere else.

Elaine Bal's first born was kept far away from K'ian as all Bal's Children were, forbidden was traveling to the realm of Sorrow were the Lord of Pain dwelled. Elaine broke her father's rule, naturally, as all children seeking to become adults do.

The young, brash girl full of pride and hubrous, just like her father entered K'ions domain and what she found was not a mad Titan like her father or herself, but a man with the history the infinity sketched onto his eyes. His hands gentle, his voice soft, and his words kind.

There she learned why her father spared the keeper of Secrets that day, as he struck him down he felt no pleasure, he felt the pain he caused reflected back into himself. Elaine felt that too, but instead fleeing from it she decided to stay with the Inheritor of Sorrow for a time. There he tought her to see the pain in all things, and the sorrow that pain brings and why we should not seek it upon others. Elaine in tern tought K'ion of love he had never experienced before, of companionship through the pain, for thougg he did bare the pain of all creation wjthin himself, it was less when they where together.

Elaine now understanding the torment her family felt as they perished in the primordial chaos and that of her father Bal as he was also moved by their suffering, setout to right the wrongs of her fathers creation and save the innocents born into this world.

Her love K'ion Keeper of Secrets knew of a way, a secret of the dead Cosmos; to purify the necro matter and render reality hospitable. They agreed to setout the ritual in the morrow. For now, that night Elaine became the Lady of Pain, Mistress of Sorrow and together with her Lord they made a love pure and gental like nothing else in this land of misery, and for a brief moment, K'ion felt no pain and the taste of his death upon Elaine's lips.

The Lord had existed for an eternity and shouldered the suffering of universes, for him, to finally die in the arms of his love would be... paradise.

That next day the ritual was preformed, yet somthing went wrong. Elaine's blood started to render into creation, the outer rings, yet it didn't stop as the lands grew and life filled the children of Bal once more so did it fade from K'ion bride...

Thw Inheritor of Sorrow weeped as he had never done before and all even the dead could hear his cries, and feel his regets. For what did he lose his love? For these small things? For this island of Bal's own vanity? No K'ion would have his bride back, and he would again experience the love that would end his journey once and for all. He reached out and...

K'ion was halted by the Inheritor of Calamity ("How fitting" he thought) and his oh so familiar Blade of Annihilation.

Bal spoke "My children have done nothing to you Keeper of Tribulations, be gone."

K'ion replied "Your children have taken everything from me Butcher of Elders."

Bal "she would of wanted it this way K'ion, you've shown us much and she gladly sacrificed herself again."

K'ion "Don't you dare claim to know what Elaine would of wanted, all you understand is destruction, all you can teach is ruin! Do you no longer care what befells even your own blood Bal?"

Bal as a single tear swells in his eye "Oh I care, I care just as much as you do Son."

K'ion "This is pointless. Know that I will bring her back, and I don't care what happens to your mound of clay Bal."

K'ion disappears from Bal's realm and Bal attempts to Shepard his children into this new land as well as he can.
Okay my WiFi is death right now but this is good shit. Going to have to rework it a bit because Elaine being alive is really important for the Outer Rings and I have a Omake meant to fully show off Bal in the works.
 
More attack spells:

Darkness Falls: One of Elaine's only spells to create darkness, it causes an artificial night. Apprentice level sorceresses may call upon such a spell. It makes it impossible for enemies accustomed to daylight to see.

Burning Light: One of Bal's only light-based spells this is actually a fire that causes the light and its burning causes the light to heat and melt things it touches. Usable by intermediate level Iron Sorcerers.

Earth Barrier: Creates blocks and spires of earth that rise to defend the sorceress. It can be used by low level sorceresses to block arrows, some bullets and some explosives.

Flame Spike: A spell from Bal's Blood that raises a wall of flames in front of the Iron Sorcerer. Can defend against flammable objects and damages some weakly built structures. It can melt some metals yet not enchanted ones.

Lash of Pain: One of Elaine's pure combat spells it creates a whip of searing light from the sorceress's index and second fingers that can be used to lash and burn or cut or wrap around her prey. She made the spell in honor of her love.

Dominate Beasts: A spell of Bal's Blood that 'invades' the mind of an animal and forces it to serve the Iron Sorcerer's will. Usable by low level Sorcerers.
 
More attack spells:

Darkness Falls: One of Elaine's only spells to create darkness, it causes an artificial night. Apprentice level sorceresses may call upon such a spell. It makes it impossible for enemies accustomed to daylight to see.

Burning Light: One of Bal's only light-based spells this is actually a fire that causes the light and its burning causes the light to heat and melt things it touches. Usable by intermediate level Iron Sorcerers.

Earth Barrier: Creates blocks and spires of earth that rise to defend the sorceress. It can be used by low level sorceresses to block arrows, some bullets and some explosives.

Flame Spike: A spell from Bal's Blood that raises a wall of flames in front of the Iron Sorcerer. Can defend against flammable objects and damages some weakly built structures. It can melt some metals yet not enchanted ones.

Lash of Pain: One of Elaine's pure combat spells it creates a whip of searing light from the sorceress's index and second fingers that can be used to lash and burn or cut or wrap around her prey. She made the spell in honor of her love.

Dominate Beasts: A spell of Bal's Blood that 'invades' the mind of an animal and forces it to serve the Iron Sorcerer's will. Usable by low level Sorcerers.
I like these though when I write I will do a more free ended way of doing things with less spells as D&D casting and more thematic powers though keep doing these as they are fun to read and very creative as well as making a RPG off this setting as well could be extraordinary.
 
I'm having problems going off the whole twisted Force and Element Zero thing b/c those two franchises I've seen yet don't really know... how to write for them. Here's the only things I could think of:

Sun Void: Elaine's powerful attack spell that creates a void of light that burns as hot as the sun. Only the best sorceresses may use the spell. It has its own gravitational pull and pulls enemies and allies alike towards it.

Warped Crusher: A spell of Bal's that psychically crushes the enemy until they are dead. Must be applied continuously and concentration on the target maintained to work. A master Iron Sorcerer can use this spell.

Push and Pull: Elaine's gift of telekinesis to grab and pull objects toward you, lift enemies, structures or animals. A low level sorceress may call upon these powers.

Mind Game: Elaine's spell to cause the target to feel the sorceress's emotions and sympathize with her. Cannot be used to make someone do something drastically against their morals. Can be done by low level sorceresses.
 
I'm having problems going off the whole twisted Force and Element Zero thing b/c those two franchises I've seen yet don't really know... how to write for them. Here's the only things I could think of:

Sun Void: Elaine's powerful attack spell that creates a void of light that burns as hot as the sun. Only the best sorceresses may use the spell. It has its own gravitational pull and pulls enemies and allies alike towards it.

Warped Crusher: A spell of Bal's that psychically crushes the enemy until they are dead. Must be applied continuously and concentration on the target maintained to work. A master Iron Sorcerer can use this spell.

Push and Pull: Elaine's gift of telekinesis to grab and pull objects toward you, lift enemies, structures or animals. A low level sorceress may call upon these powers.

Mind Game: Elaine's spell to cause the target to feel the sorceress's emotions and sympathize with her. Cannot be used to make someone do something drastically against their morals. Can be done by low level sorceresses.
Okay that was a bad description I must admit. Maybe this is better

Simply by will. All it is is the vital essence of a God. It's as simple as breathing or moving the power within as for too direct needs more details and short bits of prose to spice it up. Invoking the Blood of Bal is a matter of the mind and soul, of listening to the Song it sings and letting yourself fall in.
As a major fan of the Wheel of Time coming up with a awesome way to describe using the power of Blood is a high priority. Sorry this took so long to reply WiFi is reluctant.
 
So Elaine's spells are by will and Bal's by listening to the Song it sings?
They both have a Song. For both I think the best image is being submerged in the bottomless ocean the power of the Blood is and letting the song sung in the depths resonate withing you. Both Black and White is a abyss that drowns you in sensation and emotion though different depending on if the Blood is Bal's or Elaine's. A experience like purposely diving into mind bending madness. This description still sucks most likely.
 
Okay my WiFi is death right now but this is good shit. Going to have to rework it a bit because Elaine being alive is really important for the Outer Rings and I have a Omake meant to fully show off Bal in the works.
Glad it was worth the wait. I'm finally able to go to bed now. Goodnight.
 
Back
Top Bottom