Welcome to FIC! Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!
"They did this experiment like bunches of years ago where they had baby monkeys, right? And they gave the baby monkeys real Moms and Moms that were flour sacks with milk. The baby monkeys without Moms fought other monkeys and weren't successful. The baby monkeys with real Moms knew how to form intimate relationships with other monkeys."
"Or maybe you just know why Moms hold their babies and laugh with their kids?"
"Yeah! *smiles awkwardly*"
"A story goes that a very bratty teen girl had a lovely tho sad Mommy. And all her siblings hated her, so did her Mommy, so did school, so did the community. Everybody hated this girl. Why did people hate her? At least she can sometimes talk to fam and friends long distance. The End?"
"No no no, I'm saying that if you throw a penis hard enough at her you could probably kill her. If not from the impact then from when her head explodes due to the fact that she has been slapped by what she hates the most."
"I am not taking advice from a guy who calls diarrhea 'A case of the chocolate mousse fountain.' "
"Hand me that broom, I think there's some rats up in the attic Anne Frankly I'm not alright with that."
"No, me commenting that your headscarf looks like someone took some paint and made potato prints on a piece of cloth and then threw up on it isn't a racist remark on your culture. It's me calling your scarf fucking ugly and telling you to go buy one that doesn't make you look like you're wearing a smurf that has been fed through a wood-chipper."
"Its Christmas, go buy me a case of cheap shitty beer so I can watch "Die hard" in my undies while wearing a blinking Christmas hat."
"Hand me that radio and a screwdriver, I'm gonna make this toaster play shitty radio jingles to annoy him in the morning."
My brother is a fountain of quotes as he lives purely to amuse himself these days.