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Lets Talk About Our Lives

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Closest Match: Democratic Socialism
Democratic Socialism is a form of socialism that seeks to utilize liberal democracy as a means to achieve a socialist economy and society. Democratic Socialist reject revolution and a centrally planned economy, instead supporting moderate social ownership in the form of publicly owned utilities and democratic workplace self-management.

Lenin, you silly bald fuck.
 
So um im gonna take a break for awhile. This was prompted by a incident on reddit where a combined lack of sleep and a borderline mental breakdown resulted in my getting banned and venting at a mod for a hour or 2 crying and on the borderline of scream crying. like I just poured into the mod for like a good 2 hours about how my life was a disaster and everything was on fire and I felt like shit...and well basically my dysphoria is back and I can't leave and get things that might help.

so that was basically a wake up call for me that I need to just get off this whole internet discourse shit for awhile. I almost broke down screaming and crying because of a comment on reddit.

yeah to say the least I really just honest to the gods need to calm the fuck down and avoid the internet for awhile. maybe keep up to date on news just I can't I need to just stop browsing reddit and stuff and am gonna spend all this time I have with my husband and boyfriends. Another month of time off between all of us i need some time for myself.


so I'll see you guys hopefulyl in May or June if I really do need it.
 
Im sort of back my phone was still apparently logged in so I decided to check all my notifications so I dont go insane wondering what inside expect me disappear again for a few weeks.
 
idk I might be back its sort complicated The real problem was that I was too active on reddit and fuck people talk about toxicity on twitter. Reddit is fucking terrible. I dropped it and I feel like a million times happier and more sane.

I noticed I wasn't as paranoid sleep was better and overall im not as prone to screaming which for my paranoia ass is good.



also good gods this quarantine is hellish. I just sometimes drive cuz I need out of the house.
 
Huh, I hate dealing with hard headed old man. "No, hand sanitizers without prior hand washing is less effective so no need to do it at all."

Fucking idiotic old coot. See if I care if your carcass gets hauled into an ICU unit if tested positive on Covid-19.
How dare you! Shameful disrespect for your elders!

Also not sure if talking about me, which is even more shameful.
 
tbh the vast majority of people who seem to be treating covid as "no big deal" are either bougie AF or old.

My in-laws are barely treating this seriously. They just now started staying in at night AND THATS ONLY CUZ OF THE CURFEW.

otherwise nah lets just leave the house and socialize like nothings happening.

social distancing? nah fuck that.

and they aren't alone anytime I do leave the house its always ALWAYS the elderly or middle aged folx who seem to act like not a care in the world. When they aren't eyeing me suspiciously.



like gods if there was ever something I want to fucking scream about its the fact that all of the fucking racists have come out I've been told multiple times to go back to china.
 
Noobs. Racists in my country have been telling that to our Chinese folks for decades.

I at least would prefer the racists to tell me to go back to korea. because at least then itd make fucking sense.
 
I was complaining to my internet provider about the slow internet - well, too slow for working for home anyway. So they basically told me that 20mbps is the best by VDSL modem could do. Fair enough, I told them to send me a new modem then (which of course isn't free). However, they don't send me conventional VDSL modem, they sent to be one of so-called "smart" boxes, which are basically wi-fi hubs. Which cannot be activated without a smartphone with a dedicated application? Which you can't get if you don't have a smartphone with an internet connection for the application to work. So, I need to pay for the internet via mobile and a smartphone if I want to use faster internet via cable. I can't describe how angry I am right now.
 
Thought of something to do with a nearly-blank notebook that I've had for a while: I'm filling it with notes on Aristotelian philosophy, which I've been meaning to try to get to grips with for a while now. I had listened through the episodes on Aristotle by the podcast The History of Philosophy Without Any Gaps before, but writing down the key points feels like it helps me actually process what's described :)
 
I have a day off work today but I spent entire day in a desperate attempt to active the "smart" vdsl modem. And wifi hub supposedly, even though vdsl function doesn't work so who knows if wifi does. I even went to my IP local shop to share with them my awesome experience with them. Of course, the local shop is still open, virus or no virus, just need your face mask. I can hope Corona-chan didn't jump me on my way there. Met quite a rude clerk which probably realized I am not rich enough so I didn't get any meaningful advice.

The only reason I have the Internet right now to bitch about a whole experience is that I still have "stupid" VDSL modem...

Because "smart" one needs to be activated. To activate it, you need an application in a smartphone you can't download because you don't have the Internet yet because hub doesn't work. Called helpdesk, idiots can't comprehend the fact someone doesn't have a smartphone, or Internet via mobile phone, despite you explicitly ask them for the internet via landline.

I borrowed a smartphone without an Internet connection (SIM card in it doesn't support data) and tied to cheese it by simply using wifi to download the application. I spent two hours updating the junk.

So. no "smart" wifi bullshit for me.

Then I got a call from the Internet provider again. This time I get more helpful helpdesk operator which indirectly explained to me that ""smart" thingy doesn't even make your Internet faster because 20mbps I can reach with normal "stupid" vdsl modem. That's landline limit. It's not 50mbps. 50 mpbs I wanted a whole time is wireless, you get an antena and everything! Which I didn't get, despite this 50 mbps is what I wanted to order in the first place when I got "smart" thingy. Still suggested I try the new box, perhaps it will make my Internet faster after all. Somehow, perhaps it's magic.

I realized that it still won't connect to "smart" box (you can see it when you turn on phone wifi, it just does nothing), but can get app elsewhere, not via distribution via box. A lot of switching between old and new modem. App actually is on Google Play after all - and still can't download the application as I don't have the required model and version of Android OS on borrowed Smartphone. I tried to download the newer system, but it seems an old phone can't take it.

I was so angry I wanted to take a supposedly "smart" box and go physically assault the office clerk with it by caving in her face by repeatedly hitting it with "smart box" ... it's not like the rude one was that pretty, so not much waste ... luckily for me, it was past office hours so I didn't go attacking stupid clerk. I actually spent an hour looking for a way to find a way how angry I am. No reviews are possible on their webpages. Clever. So I wrote this post, which just as the "smart hub for your smart household" it also does nothing. But at least, it makes me less angry as I waste time writing it.

Do I even need a smartphone if nothing that should be connected to it doesn't work anyway?
 
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