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Contextless quotes: robooted


Beach bum, Esq.
Because I'm a lazy ass dude and there's actually a website called outofcontextquotes.com; here's a bunch of 'em.

Croutons have no sense of humor.’

‘But what if the Queen stops by and I’ve got my face in a bowl of melted butter?!’

‘I don’t think anyone would be opposed to fudge expansion.'

‘Olive oil tends to give me amnesia.’

‘It just explains why they lost track of their pants when they went to the other side of Mars.’

‘Even brain surgery is easier when you’re a professional chef!’

‘Did you go to the JubJub School of Laying Down?’

‘This horned helmet just SCREAMS ‘skilled electrician’!’

‘T-Rex will never know the joy of putting olives on the end of his claws.’

‘Since the angels got out of the bathroom they’ve been very crunchy.’

‘Everything with you revolves around opposable thumbs.’

‘My call of the wild went to voice mail.’

‘Your office space is NOT Feng Shui if none of your pens have caps!’

‘Fish Licking is frowned upon, especially in New England.’

‘S’Moria – where the Dwarves toast marshmallows.’

‘Marble rye isn’t like celery in a tree!’

‘H.R. Stuff ‘N Junk is H.R. Puff ‘N Stuff’s bad boy cousin that hangs out with Oscar the Grouch.’

‘It’s not even 8am and you’ve already ruined teleportation for everyone.’

‘If they wanted us to use good grammar, they should have made it more easier.’

‘Can you really bake snow?’ – ‘You can if it’s made of marbles!’


Not-Hostile Robot Caretaker
Went to Italy came back without a willy
Went to Spain came back with pain
Went to Russia, revived Prussia
Went to Germany, all in harmony.
Went to France-Surrendered

50 Icy Spear Mends Space

Well-known member
”Anyhow, who among Everyone in this world has not had a dream of having sex with one of their parents?”

”I'm running out of vaginas.”

“God, you fucking dullards. You khaki clad chads.“

”I'm talking about memes! Digital War!”

”Your penis is a weapon. You must ejaculate in a woman”

”I put my wife in a headlock, so fuckin' what.”

“It was at the dog's insistence, not at all for my pleasure“

“This is not autism. It is trial and error.“

"I never planned to go to Spain anyway, JB porn is illegal there."

”I have doxxed people though, including an autistic 8-year-old who really fucking deserved it.”

”I think this is the only site where you can get drunken prank called by a mod and then banned for getting mad.”

”I have a picture of a bee vagina, if anyone's interested.”

”Nobody wants to hire an anxiety-prone lesbian transwoman whose Google Search shows a sex doll-humping gif and my bare behind sitting on an $11 cake.”


”So, I might have a girlfriend. She's 24. We met at psychiatric intake.”

”If I want to make fun of a weird person, all I need to do is look in the mirror and laugh.”

”God can go anywhere! Even Canada!”

”When i was twelve my sister was thirteen, i tricked her into losing her virginity to a dog”

”Ugh my vagoominah hurts.”

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