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A Penguin Plays RULE THE WAVES

1.1 Intro
  • bluepencil

    Indentured Artist
    Author
    You might seen him get broken by Planetbase. You've seen him flail around with Kingdoms and Castles.

    Now it's time to know... if Almirante Pietro can save the Spanish Empire!

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    ntzoo-letsplay-standby.jpg


    peng-smallfaces-010b.jpg
    What the hell am I doing putting myself through all this again...

    peng-smallfaces-09.jpg
    What? It's done? Are we live?

    peng-smallfaces-09a.jpg
    Ok deep breath. LET'S DO THIS.

    2019-03-28_001104.png


    peng-smallfaces-010c.jpg
    DA-DA-DAH! DA DA DADA DAAAAH!
    peng-smallfaces-010c1.jpg
    DOOM! DOOM! DOOM! DOM! DOM! DOM! DOOOM!
    peng-smallfaces-010c.jpg
    BIRI BIDI BIREEE!

    peng-smallfaces06.jpg
    Yeah, no. This game doesn't have any intro video or sound effects to speak of.

    peng-smallfaces06a.jpg
    But just looking at that main menu and its imposing artwork is enough to tell you all you need to know.

    The sheer insanity of 1900 to 1920 brinksmanship and shipbuilding, and everything leading up to the World War made inevitable by greed and ego unaware as to how far killing technology had progressed. War was just the default state of Europe, it was almost a game. Trading territories here and there, never a decade of peace... but little did they know how much their lust for glory would destroy their own nations. The navy was like the tail wagging the dog, and war, war would change forever.

    peng-smallfaces04b.jpg
    Are those British ships? I mean, who uses a ram bow, seriously?
    (ahem)



    Anyway...

    peng-smallfaces-01.jpg
    It is I, Pietro La Penguin, your host into his completely ahistorical boondoggle. With the power of hindsight and a lack of direct consequences for our actions, can our armchair admiraling create a better alternate timeline?

    peng-smallfaces02.jpg
    Let's find out.
     
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    1.2 Intro
  • 2019-03-28_001157.png

    peng-smallfaces04b1.jpg
    Man, this interface. It's like using Windows 3.11 all over again.

    peng-smallfaces04f.jpg
    Yes, I am fully aware that I am a Penguin. But that was my first operating environment, and to this day I feel somewhat fond of it.

    peng-smallfaces04g.jpg
    I am a traitor to my peoples.

    2019-03-28_001213.png

    peng-smallfaces02.jpg
    So. First off, and obviously, the British Empire. Brittaniah rule the waves and all that, hip hip hoorah. They are quite rich bastards, aren't they?

    peng-smallfaces04a.jpg
    Hidden flaws? What flaws could those be? Sociologically? Doctrinally?

    peng-smallfaces06b.jpg
    (googles)

    peng-smallfaces-12a.jpg
    ... Something is Wrong with our Ships Today.



    2019-03-28_001215.png

    peng-smallfaces02.jpg
    Okay, moving on. Germany!
    I have no strong feelings whatsoever for pre-WW2 Imperial Germany. They are not more or less shitheels like any other colonialist power at the time.

    2019-03-28_001218.png


    peng-smallfaces-01.jpg
    I do, however, have strong feelings for Trarist Russia.

    peng-smallfaces03b.jpg
    And that feeling is PITY. Oh, the poor Russian Pacific Fleet and their journey from Russia to East Asia.

    peng-smallfaces-12c.jpg
    You wouldn't think anyone could fuck up that much outside of a comedy movie, but it actually happened in reality. Such a hilarious cavalcade of misfortune and incompetence such as the world has never seen. Tsutshima was almost a mercy.
     
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    1.3 Intro
  • 2019-03-28_001223.png

    peng-smallfaces-08.jpg
    And we have France. I dunno. Between France and Germany, I feel I'd rather root for Germany. They were both similarly prideful, but bugnuts in an entirely different way.

    Also, as far as I know, only France ever used quadruple main gun turrets. It's so emblematic of élan I am impressed. But not impressed enough to try it in my hulls.

    2019-03-28_001225.png

    peng-smallfaces-08a.jpg
    And then we have Austria-Hungary, which sadly I know only had a navy because of Disney and the Sound of Music.
    I am so sorry.

    2019-03-28_001227.png

    peng-smallfaces02a.jpg
    And then we have the Pastas, significant only in how anyone who allies with them automatically loses.
    I'm almost tempted to pick this nation though just to experiment with a motor torpedo boat doomswarm.

    2019-03-28_001231.png

    peng-smallfaces02.jpg
    And then we have Japan. It is actually impressive how much they managed to do with their starting disadvantages.
    Good ships, good crews, but ultimately hoist by their own petard grasping beyond their grasp.

    2019-03-28_001235.png

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    And then we have the USA. And this whole game is going to be about NOT picking a fight with the USA and their infinite wall of steel and guns.

    2019-03-28_001248.png


    peng-smallfaces02.jpg
    And those are the main default nations. What else do we have?
    The CSA?

    CS...

    peng-smallfaces07b.jpg
    WHAT.
     
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    1.4 Intro
  • peng-smallfaces04.jpg
    Those bunch of slaving assholes?!

    2019-03-28_001254.png

    peng-smallfaces04b.jpg
    Hmm. There are two versions. One which has Germany as an opponent and the other has Spain.
    Does this mean that the former is a post-1900 Spanish-American War world in which the US controls the Philippines?

    peng-smallfaces-12c.jpg
    No wait, the Spanish-American War happens after the Civil War, so that's already ahistorical. Ugh my brainmeats.

    2019-03-28_001259.png

    2019-03-28_001303.png

    peng-smallfaces06.jpg
    And so that leaves Spain. Hurtling towards irrelevance in the turn of the century.
    There are two versions as well. One in which they can war against Germany, and the other against the CSA.

    peng-smallfaces-09.jpg
    Now that I know about the nations, I'll be honest with you. This game will be all about
    peng-smallfaces-10d.jpg
    PICKING A FIGHT WITH THE CONFEDERATE STATES OF AMERICA
    peng-smallfaces-09bc.jpg
    And hoping their plantation-based economy isn't actually that much better than ours.


    peng-smallfaces04c.jpg
    (click Next)

    2019-03-28_001318.png

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    I do not grok any of these choices.
     
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    1.4a Intro - Technical Matters
  • duck-smallfaces-04a.jpg
    Actually the British King George V battleships had two quadruple turrets and a double turret, respectively in A, X and B position.

    peng-smallfaces-12e.jpg
    WHO ARE YOU AND HOW DID YOU GET INSIDE MY HOUSE?

    duck-smallfaces-01c.jpg
    You... called me, remember? As a technical advisor? (Also I'm on Skype.)

    peng-smallfaces04a.jpg
    Oh. Right. So, I am a fan of history, but I'm not really clear on good shipbuilding.

    duck-smallfaces-02a.jpg
    Arr matey, dese ships no longer be divided from first rate to third rate! The Line of Battle Ship ... the battleship, the true steelclad leviathans, they rule the waves! But like the great elephants of old, they are threatened by tiny little mice - the tiny torpedo boat!

    peng-smallfaces04b.jpg
    Change your hat, we're going with Spain.

    duck-smallfaces-04c.jpg
    So heeey amigo, I heard you like torpedos. But your motor torpedo boats can't survive to touch la reynas and your submarinos can't chase anything worth shit? Have I got a deal for you, yah!

    peng-smallfaces04b1.jpg
    That's Mexico.

    2019-03-28_001318.png

    peng-smallfaces-08.jpg
    Though I do feel it is very appropriate that the Admiral's name means 'beer'. Ahahaha.

    duck-smallfaces-01c.jpg
    That's cerveZA.

    peng-smallfaces-08a.jpg
    What?

    duck-smallfaces-01c.jpg
    Cerveza means 'beer'. Cervera means 'a place of stags'.

    peng-smallfaces05.jpg
    BARATHEONS!

    duck-smallfaces-02b.jpg
    ...!

    peng-smallfaces-10e.jpg
    OURS IS THE FURY!

    peng-smallfaces04.jpg
    That's so Spaanish!

    duck-smallfaces-02a.jpg
    I KNOOOW.






    AN:
    @Rufus Shinra , this duck reaction face set dates back to 2017 actually. ;)
     
    1.5 Intro
  • 2019-03-28_001323.png

    peng-smallfaces02.jpg
    All right, so let's change that.
    What is Spain known for?

    Christianity?

    Bullfighting?

    peng-smallfaces04g.jpg
    What's Spanish for bull?

    2019-03-28_001348.png

    peng-smallfaces02a.jpg
    There we go.
    If we were playing the Italians, then obviously it would be Admiral Pastabote.

    peng-smallfaces04f.jpg
    Now to get some relief from all this confusion, let us READ THE MANUAL.

    2019-03-28_001550.png


    peng-smallfaces02a.jpg
    Hmm. So, don't start with a Small Fleet.
    I was actually hoping this means everybody would have small fleets so this reduces the management burden with repetitive fleet battles.

    Varied technologies might be interesting to take too.

    2019-03-28_001600.png

    peng-smallfaces03b.jpg
    So how do I get more money? Is there any benefit to getting more overseas possessions/colonies or are they just a net money drain?

    peng-smallfaces04.jpg
    Colonialism! What are you good forrr?!



    2019-03-28_001608.png


    peng-smallfaces06.jpg
    Yes, Spain's colonies are going to tie down its sad obsolescent little fleet.
    I don't want to pick a fight with the CSA only to get suddenly Banzai'ed in the back by Japan.

    2019-03-28_001655.png


    peng-smallfaces06a.jpg
    Wait, so should I design my starting fleet?
    Maybe I should buzz my Technical Advisor for this.

    duck-smallfaces-01.jpg
    Well whatever you design and build initially will be lousy botes anyway.
    The technological advances during this period are so rapid that you might be better off not building any Battleships for your first year.

    It will tie up your yards to refit them later. Instead you might focus on a more mobile force that will take longer to obsolete because they're not meant to trade blows.

    Heavy Cruisers to deter Light Cruiser raiders, and Light Cruisers for raiding and taking down Destroyers.
    Destroyers for coastal patrol, anti-submarine warfare, and the occasional lucky torpedo hit.

    duck-smallfaces-01c.jpg
    On the other hand, you might get war declared on you on your first year.






    AN:
    Pietro's 'livestream' ends here for now. Imma sleep.

    Suggest a starting fleet for Pietro la Torobote Almirante Penguin.

    Also note that I don't speak Spanish. Like, at all. Will need help with that too.
     
    2.1 Build Mode
  • 2019-03-30_142928.png

    peng-smallfaces04a.jpg
    Oh lordy.

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    How do I... how do I... ANYTHING?

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    What's this button do?

    2019-03-30_142934.png


    peng-smallfaces04a.jpg
    Oh. Okay.

    2019-03-30_142944.png

    peng-smallfaces04b1.jpg
    Ooookay.
    So what a great example of turn-of-the-century design. Casemated guns and all.

    2019-03-30_143009.png

    peng-smallfaces04b.jpg
    Hmm. 8-inch guns are made for slapping down light cruisers. We should go a little heavier.


    2019-03-30_143043.png


    2019-03-30_143055.png

    peng-smallfaces04a.jpg
    Wait, hang on...

    2019-03-30_143050.png
    2019-03-30_143055.png

    peng-smallfaces04.jpg
    YOUR EIGHT-INCH GUNS ARE BETTER THAN YOUR TEN INCH GUNS?!
    How do you embeciles suck this bad?!
     
    2.2 Build Mode
  • peng-smallfaces06c.jpg
    Okay, I'm seeing why it was said there might be no point in building my own battleships.
    What the hell, Spain.

    What the hell.


    2019-03-30_143548.png

    peng-smallfaces02a.jpg
    Eight inch guns are better than nine guns guns are better than ten inch guns. I'm keeping this, thanks.

    What's the Spanish word for Crusader?

    (googles)

    2019-03-30_143600.png


    peng-smallfaces02.jpg
    There we go.

    Henceforth all Heavy Cruisers will have names starting with 'C' and Light Cruisers starting with 'L'.

    2019-03-30_143706.png

    peng-smallfaces06a.jpg
    So I changed casemates into turrets. I don't know if it has a mechanical advantage to gameplay, but I just like how it looks.
    Seems like it would be more accurate. Those six-inch turrets barely have any penetration anyway.

    peng-smallfaces03b.jpg
    I have no idea if this is a decent ship at all.

    ...

    2019-03-30_155237.png

    peng-smallfaces02a.jpg
    Actually, I changed my mind.

    Henceforth all Armored Cruisers will have names starting with 'A'.
     
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    2.3 Build Mode
  • peng-smallfaces06b.jpg
    What?

    Fiiiine.

    peng-smallfaces-08a.jpg
    I've just been told to stop cheating and just follow the historical norms. Casemates aren't that bad.
    And without proper turret tech, small turreted guns aren't going to be as effective as I expect.

    So I won't put turreted secondaries until... when did Dreadnought come out? 1906? Yeah that's good.

    peng-smallfaces-08.jpg
    Or when I see other nations going around with secondaries on turrets.


    2019-03-30_184956.gif

    peng-smallfaces02.jpg
    Well putting things back into casemates instead of turrets only saves me about 48 tons.

    peng-smallfaces06.jpg
    Uggh. To 20 knots or 21 knots? That is the question.
    peng-smallfaces06a.jpg
    Whether 'tis more fiscally sound to use almost four hundred freed tons and two million, or to stave off obsolescence by not having to rip out the machinery and spend much time and expense in the yards for refit later.

    2019-03-30_185344.png

    peng-smallfaces02a.jpg
    I guess I'll keep it at 21 knots to be able to catch up to Light Cruisers.


    2019-03-30_185444.png

    peng-smallfaces-08.jpg
    There's not much difference between casemates and turreted cruisers, only about 160,000... out of 34 million...
    peng-smallfaces-08a.jpg
    Is it pesos? No, the game has to be using an undefined universal currency, because Spanish currency is also terribad.
    Are we still on the gold standard?

    2019-03-30_185505.png

    2019-03-30_185510.png

    peng-smallfaces02.jpg
    I dropped tertiary guns from ten to six in order to fit in Colonial Service men and equipment.

    2019-03-30_185753.png

    peng-smallfaces04a.jpg
    So let's buy like... FOUR of them.
    And start renaming them to fit the theme.

    2019-03-30_185813.png

    peng-smallfaces04f.jpg
    What?
     
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    2.4 Build Mode
  • 2019-03-30_185844.png

    peng-smallfaces03.jpg
    Wait I didn't know I could do that.


    2019-03-30_200817.png

    peng-smallfaces03c.jpg
    Aha. Ahaha.
    peng-smallfaces-010c.jpg
    AHAHAHAHAHAHA.
    peng-smallfaces07b.jpg
    I DON'T NEED TO BE LIMITED TO MY STUPID ENGINEERS' SHITTY GUNS OR THE HIDEOUS SLOW PACE OF MY SHITTY DOCK WORKERS!

    2019-03-30_143055.png
    2019-03-30_201135.png


    peng-smallfaces02.jpg
    That is a significant improvement. That's enough to blow through all expected Cruiser armor. We need that.

    peng-smallfaces04b1.jpg
    But wait, let's shop around first.
    Since build time here is instant, what can the other shipbuilding nations offer us?

    2019-03-30_200847.png

    peng-smallfaces04b.jpg
    That.

    peng-smallfaces04.jpg
    Perfidious Albion is using double gun secondary turrets, you guys! In 1900!

    peng-smallfaces07b.jpg
    What was that about being needlessly anachronisticcc?!

    2019-03-30_200935.png

    2019-03-30_200951.png

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    The Baguette and Pasta botes aren't much different.
    I do note how all of these period battleships are so sloow.

    peng-smallfaces02.jpg
    Let's go ask what our own yards have for us.

    2019-03-30_201001.png

    peng-smallfaces04b.jpg
    You guys suck mucho quantities. Seriously.
     
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    2.5 Build Mode
  • 2019-03-30_201117.png

    peng-smallfaces03b.jpg
    Uggh. I guess I'll have to do something with a US North Dakota instead.

    Twenty knots standard battle line? With most other battleships being 18 or 19 knots, this might allow me to disengage if things are going poorly.

    peng-smallfaces04g.jpg
    What if I reduce the rear turret to a chase gun?
    If I'm going to gtfo, I'm going to be too busy screaming to be shooting.
    Three 12-inchers is still better than four shitty 10-inchers.

    From 49 mil down to 44.5 mil, and I get to increase armor.

    (click click click)

    2019-03-30_201516.png

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    You are now a cute squatbote. This pleases me.

    2019-03-30_201416.png


    peng-smallfaces02a.jpg
    Make it so.

    2019-03-30_201617.png

    peng-smallfaces03.jpg
    Oh no my bote has gotten fatter what did I just do?

    peng-smallfaces-010b.jpg
    Uggh. I could spend hours here. Hours. Just fine-tuning things.
    I haven't even started the game yet!

    peng-smallfaces06.jpg
    I'm almost tempted to hit Back and just allow the AI to randomly assign my starter fleet.
    A badfleet would at least be more historically relevant.

    2019-03-30_201711.png

    peng-smallfaces06a.jpg
    And that's one hundred million smackeroonies of my budget down the drain.

    2019-03-30_201804.png

    peng-smallfaces02.jpg
    Yeah okay. I'm not going to mess around with that, seems legit.

    2019-03-30_201908.png

    peng-smallfaces05.jpg
    Suicide torpedo botes are a go! BANZA-

    I mean, ARRIBA!

    2019-03-30_202157.png

    peng-smallfaces-12e.jpg
    Oh Great Arceus I can't afford any more new ships.
    What have I done?

    Should I scrap an Armored Cruiser?
     
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    2.6 Build Mode
  • 2019-03-31_104017.png

    peng-smallfaces-09.jpg
    Although... I do have a monthly income of 3.2 million, so I could just build those Destroyers manually.
    I could probably afford to build like ten or fifteen of them simultaneously for... ten months?

    peng-smallfaces-08a.jpg
    Maybe I should ask the United States to build more of my ships?

    peng-smallfaces02a.jpg
    ... Nah, this is a job-making opportunity.
    The economy needs a certain amount of protectionism to keep the workers fed and not rioting and not hanging me from the nearest lamp-post.

    2019-03-30_202210.png

    peng-smallfaces-08.jpg
    So let's get to it.
     
    3.1 Initialization
  • peng-smallfaces05.jpg
    And here... we... go!

    2019-03-30_202341.png

    peng-smallfaces02.jpg
    First let's have a look at our geopolitical situation.
    Truly, the sun does not set on the Spanish Empire.

    peng-smallfaces04a.jpg
    Strength Bars button? Huh. What does this do?

    2019-03-30_202405.png

    peng-smallfaces04.jpg
    WHAT, ALREADY, UNITED STATES? SERIOUSLY?
    The US had so many ships it wouldn't fit into the screen and I had to scroll UP.

    peng-smallfaces03.jpg
    Oh gawd the CSA has a big fleet. What's going on in there?


    2019-03-30_202420.png

    peng-smallfaces-12c.jpg
    Oh no everyone else haz loads of Light Cruisers.
    The CSA has a yuge number of Light Cruisers and Destroyers.

    peng-smallfaces-12b.jpg
    And unsurprisingly the only one with more fast ships is the USA.
    AMERRRICAANS.

    And those funding numbers!

    peng-smallfaces-12d.jpg
    We are poor. We are so poor.

    2019-03-30_202430.png

    peng-smallfaces06c.jpg
    I can't even beat up Italy!
    peng-smallfaces04b.jpg
    Although give me a half a year and I think we might be able to beat up Austria-Hungary.
     
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    3.1a Initialization - Fiscal Realities
  • peng-smallfaces05.jpg
    Technical Advisorrr!

    duck-smallfaces-01c.jpg
    You don't need me for this. You need a Fiscal Manager.

    peng-smallfaces02a.jpg
    Who would that even b-

    turt-smallfaces-01.jpg
    ...

    I have arrived.

    peng-smallfaces04a.jpg
    Um.
    Hello?

    turt-smallfaces-01.jpg
    ...

    Slow and steady wins the race.

    peng-smallfaces04b.jpg
    Okay. I'm not sure that aphorism actually applies to racing, but that is true enough.

    turt-smallfaces-01.jpg
    ...

    Invest in businesses, not bitcoin.

    peng-smallfaces04e.jpg
    ... While also good advice, I'm not sure how that applies to 1900 Spain.

    peng-smallfaces-14a.jpg
    Oh god I hope they don't model The Great Depression in this naval brinksmanship simulator.

    duck-smallfaces-01c.jpg
    I can say that they model 'the great depression' in a... different way.
     
    3.2 Initialization
  • 2019-03-30_202546.png

    peng-smallfaces02a.jpg
    Sadly colonial commitments mean we have to put ships away from the Mediterranean.
    No matter, this is what Armored Cruisers are for.

    2019-03-31_103916.png

    2019-03-31_103922.png

    2019-03-31_103926.png

    peng-smallfaces04f.jpg
    So these are the ships we have currently.

    2019-03-31_104008.png
    2019-03-31_104004.png

    2019-03-31_104018.png
    2019-03-31_104017.png

    peng-smallfaces04a.jpg
    And what it would cost to build them.

    A Battleship for 45 million and 1.5 million per month over 29 months.
    An Armored Cruiser for 34 million and 1.4 million per month for 24 months.
    A Light Cruiser for 14 million and 673 thousand per month for 21 months.
    A Destroyer for 1.7 million and 173 thousand per month for 10 months.

    peng-smallfaces-08a.jpg
    Actually surprisingly affordable. If we could deal with waiting five more months it might be better to buy more Battleships than Armored Cruisers.

    Oh wait, my battleships have Short range, while my Cruisers have Medium, so they can afford to go full speed for longer.
    Kind of relevant when they're meant to slap down other Cruisers.

    On the other hand, more battleships is... psychologically comforting.

    (gets a calculator)

    peng-smallfaces-14a.jpg
    So, what do we need? More Light Cruisers and Destroyers?

    Our zones of influence are Northern Europe, the Mediterranean, the Caribbean, and South East Asia.
    Assuming we put Destroyers in there 4 + 4 + 2 + 2 to protect our shipping, plus a Light Cruiser squadron leader, we need 3 more Light Cruisers and 12 Destroyers.

    That's (673,000 x3 ) = 2 million per month
    And (173,000 x 12) = 2 million per month

    Our income is 3.2 million, so we could probably afford to build one more light cruiser and all the destroyers.

    peng-smallfaces04g.jpg
    Actually, wait, I already sent out two Armored Cruisers to show the flag. Since we don't plan on picking a fight with the CSA just yet, and is Japan even an opponent in this current setup... ?

    We might be able to afford not throwing hulls all over the world just yet. If we focus locking up the Mediterranean...

    peng-smallfaces-14b.jpg
    Huh. Engineering is hard, but political implications are even harder.


    2019-03-31_111245.png

    peng-smallfaces04a.jpg
    Wait, what does this menu item do?
     
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    3.3 Initialization
  • 2019-03-31_111310.png

    peng-smallfaces02.jpg
    What is this?

    2019-03-31_111320.png

    peng-smallfaces03.jpg
    What is that?!

    2019-03-31_111329.png

    peng-smallfaces04c.jpg
    Oh no.

    2019-03-31_111345.png

    peng-smallfaces04f.jpg
    I can customize theeeem.

    2019-03-31_111413.png

    peng-smallfaces-09b.jpg
    This is my kryptoniiteee!

    2019-03-31_111717.png

    peng-smallfaces06c.jpg
    I am going to be stuck on this screen so much.

    So much!

    The game can't even starrrt!

    2019-04-01_051903.png

    peng-smallfaces-08b.jpg
    Nooo this is everything I ever wanted.

    2019-03-31_103926.png

    2019-03-31_114602.png

    peng-smallfaces-08d.jpg
    Now every time I make a new ship I'll have to do this and that is amazing. I am going to be so absurdly attached to my ships now.

    peng-smallfaces-09a.jpg
    I have to build a new ship class before I can generate a picture.

    Noo....




    duck-smallfaces-01c.jpg
    Now you're starting to understand the Reality of Ruling the Waves.
    Between the obsessive-compulsive need to make the most optimal designs...

    And never having enough money to do anything with them.


    peng-smallfaces-010b.jpg
    I am sunk.
     
    Last edited:
    4.1 January 1900
  • 2019-03-31_124928.png

    peng-smallfaces02.jpg
    All right, fun was fun, but let's get this thing going properly.

    2019-03-31_124911.png

    peng-smallfaces04a.jpg
    First thing to do is to bump up the research budget and see if we can get some better guns.

    2019-04-01_173322.png

    peng-smallfaces04f.jpg
    And historically Spain has been a pioneer in the field of submarine design, so we might try to compensate for our anemic surface ship assets with submarine warfare policy.

    duck-smallfaces-01b.jpg
    That aside, I think you're missing something fundamental here.

    peng-smallfaces02.jpg
    What?

    duck-smallfaces-01c.jpg
    Torpedoes suck.

    peng-smallfaces02a.jpg
    ...

    peng-smallfaces03.jpg
    ... !

    peng-smallfaces04.jpg
    It's 1900. T-that's right! Japan's Long Lance oxygen torpedoes haven't been invented yet!

    A bunch of light unarmored ships charging battleships is a fast way to commit suicide, but if I can only send Light Cruisers to raid merchant shipping what are Destroyers good for, then?


    2019-03-31_125152.png

    peng-smallfaces06.jpg
    Historically, Spain had the first true Destroyer, Destructor. But it was not a torpedo-heavy boat.

    2019-03-31_125401.png

    peng-smallfaces-08.jpg
    It was a torpedo-boat destroyer. It needed a lot of guns to destroy other light ships quickly.

    peng-smallfaces-08a.jpg
    Wow it was actually lucky that I was too inept to buy any destroyers properly just yet.

    peng-smallfaces06c.jpg
    Destroyers aren't yet the roaring balls of pure hatred and spite they would come to be, like Sammy B and Johnson and all those tin can sailors off the coast of Samar. Taffy 3 scared off the world's largest battleship with a torpedo volley, but presently Destroyers aren't that badass. Not yet.

    Hmm.

    2019-03-31_125523.png

    peng-smallfaces06a.jpg
    Can't do that apparently.
     
    Last edited:
    4.2 January 1900 - Furiosa Strikes!
  • 2019-03-31_125537.png

    peng-smallfaces02a.jpg
    Okay let's try this again.

    2019-03-31_125539.png

    peng-smallfaces03c.jpg
    Oookay. As a rule I don't want to give my ships shitty conditions so that my sailors don't pull a Battleship Potemkin on me and then suddenly we're all red commies.

    Spain has loads 'a problems with communists.

    2019-03-31_175649.png

    peng-smallfaces04f.jpg
    I had to reduce top speed from 28 knots to 27 knots, which is... fine. I think.

    peng-smallfaces04b.jpg
    ...

    peng-smallfaces04a.jpg
    Wait.

    peng-smallfaces05.jpg
    Inspiration strikes!



    peng-smallfaces06c.jpg
    We can't use DDs for raiding purposes. But DDs are completely unarmored, they can't stop other DDs without it being a mutual case of chicken run.

    And since torpedoes are useless, and if they stop being useless we need a way to stop torpedo destroyers quick and fast and cheap...




    2019-04-01_043920.png

    peng-smallfaces07b.jpg
    Why don't we make some sort of Super Destroyer out of a Light Cruiser hull?

    The Destroyer Destroyer!

    The Doomslayerrr!

    2019-04-01_215451.png
    2019-04-01_215445.png

    peng-smallfaces-08.jpg
    It starts with 'F', for Frigate.

    As you can see, it is SIGNIFICANTLY cheaper than the Lechon-class. Sure, in raw material terms it costs almost five times as Destroyer, but only a little over twice as much in monthly terms. We can visualize it as just building two more DDs.

    The Mediterranean is drowning in torpedo boats. But I will have whole other nations' battleships worth of weight in light cruiser raiding forces reaving up and down their coasts driving their economy to a grinding halt!

    2019-04-01_221800.png

    peng-smallfaces-08a.jpg
    If we had the Brits build this, we could shave four months off the build time but I wouldn't want to give them any ideas.

    peng-smallfaces04c.jpg
    What do you think of that, eh?
     
    4.3 January 1900
  • duck-smallfaces-03a.jpg
    Before you start building, maybe you should look up first "What is an Armed Merchant?".

    2019-04-01_044653.png

    peng-smallfaces03.jpg
    Wait, what? Six-inchers?!

    2019-04-01_044657.png

    peng-smallfaces04g.jpg
    Hm. Surprisingly potent!

    2019-04-01_043920.png


    peng-smallfaces04e.jpg
    We're toting only 5-inch guns.
    But our Super Destroyer manages to pack in 3 inches of belt armor, so... maybe if it just stays out of range while plinking away at the completely unarmored AMCs and DDs.

    duck-smallfaces-03b.jpg
    Yes, that should be fine for now, but take note that at some point it would have almost no real armor protection as gun and shell technology improves. Check often that other don't get so much faster that they start hard-countering it.

    peng-smallfaces04a.jpg
    So basically all it becomes then really is just a Super Destroyer.

    duck-smallfaces-04a.jpg
    Yes.

    peng-smallfaces04a.jpg
    So can I build this now?

    duck-smallfaces-01c.jpg
    You're the Admiral. It's completely your decision, sir.

    2019-04-02_000723.png
    2019-04-02_000807.png

    peng-smallfaces04a.jpg
    All right. So we can build... four of that, and nine of that...


    2019-04-02_000735.png

    peng-smallfaces03.jpg
    Woops.


    2019-04-02_000835.png

    peng-smallfaces04g.jpg
    I don't HAVE 791k.
    We'll have to leave this for next turn.

    peng-smallfaces04c.jpg
    For now let's just start uh, spying on everybody.

    Except the US just in case that makes them mad. I don't know why they start out annoyed with us, but I want none of that.

    What else do we have to do before we can properly move through the timeline?
     
    Last edited:
    Interlude - 1900, The Pingu at the Dawn of a New Century
  • paperhead.jpg

    ADMIRAL TOROBOTE ENGAGES IN FILTHY INTERCOURSE WITH THE BRITISH THEN CHEATS WITH AMERICANS.

    Spain left feeling weak and empty.




    Pruebas_de_mar_cervera.jpg


    The BULL SEAT
    Spain's Naval Century blog


    ( ... )

    As the 21st century dawned, Spain was left floundering. Long considered the weakest among the Great Powers, Spain had to contend with multiple civil wars and losing its overseas territories one by one through revolution and intercine conflict. "The Spanish people are ungovernable", Amadeo I had proclaimed as he walked away from the throne in disgust, and from the First Republic to the Restoration of the Monarchy and then ousted to form the Second Republic and then the New Monarchy, and the Phony War with America ended only because America was confused as to whom they were actually fighting... the turn of the century saw Spain bleed heavily whatever prestige, economic and military might it could present as a colonial power for frankly just stupid reasons.

    Among the nations, Spain was an unpredictable madman that was tolerable mainly because he bludgeoned himself to collapse before he could ever be a serious threat to anybody. It was a mad age and needed a mad solution.

    The Mad Bull of Seville

    Admiral Pinguno Torobote entered stage by successfully stopping the revolutions in both Cuba and the Philippines. He argued for radical changes were proposed in order to maintain order through Spain's far-flung colonies. All people born whether in Europe or in the colonies would not just be subjects of Spain, but full citizens and thus deserved representation in the Cortes. In exchange for accepting the grievances laid out by the insurrectos, the colonies would have greater independence similar to the relationship between Great Britain and Canada, and the Crown to Australia, in which they would largely now be self-ruling with obligations only to provide manpower and military basing when required. In exchange for Spain no longer imposing any direct tax, the colonies had to work to improve their own self-sufficiency and much stricter separation of powers between church, state, and judiciary.

    Most of all, what people demanded was real justice instead of the system of patronage and naked bribery that passed for in the islands. New, impartial judges were sent to the islands and the police forces formed of the natives were called to enforce the laws without regard to wealth or position. Eager young men became evangelists of their new society, only to run against young native priests now finally allowed to rise to authority and more familiar with the real needs of their flock. Ironically both despite their frictions worked to stabilize unrest. Educational reforms had actually begun in the mid-1860s but never actually carried out from lack of funding and pushback from the friars who in their Orders and colleges maintained an effective monopoly over higher education in the colonies. The New Monarchy by Alfonso XII continued the reforms instituted by his mother, Isabella II, backed by stronger legitimacy and the support of most of the army and the navy.

    Pinguno Torobote was the King's Mad Bull and Alfonso XII showed an extreme amount of trust to the admiral. It was claimed that the the King was saved from an early death by the Admiral, and in exchange was given a free hand with constructing the Navy. The New Monarchy's power rested strongly upon its navy because for the first time unrest in the mainland could be threatened to be quelled by bringing in colonial soldiers instead of usually the opposite with the army suppressing revolt.

    All of these reforms and shedding colonial obligations left the country with only a trickle of the former colonial riches it used to be able to collect.

    Admiral Torobote's solution was radical and almost set off another civil war and had him the subject of more than several assassination attempts.


    Compromised Morals

    When the American South seceded over the issue of slavery, European powers largely decided to insulate themselves from that hot mess. The Confederate States lacked the industrial capacity to match the North in naval power, and had to rely on unconventional and asymmetric warfare.

    However, seeing their desperation, Admiral Torobote proposed a radical solution.

    In exchange for large quantities of raw goods, gold, trade agreements, and the firm guarantee to actually start the process of true emancipation (that nonetheless would leave most black citizens as an easily-exploited underclass), Spain would sell them the bulk of their Navy to instantly put their ship numbers approaching parity with the USA. Spain would give them all their battleships, all but two of their Armored Cruisers, and almost all their Light Cruisers and Destroyers.

    With this support and the open proclamation of the Staged Freedom Guarantee, the Confederacy was able to somewhat undercut the North's basis for warfare and stalemated them long enough to form an armistice. The secession from the United States was still a thorny question, and while fighting could still erupt Spain didn't care about any of that because they already had what they wanted.

    It was a very hated measure of realpolitik that nonetheless saw Spain quickly enriched, and Admiral Torobote quickly put that money to work buying two more modern battleships of his design from the British.

    Perhaps the most divisive quality of Admiral Torobote was that he was a mulatto. Equal parts Black, White, Native Carribean and Asian through his parents and grandparents, the hatred for his support for slavers was only matched by the surprised acknowledged that he actually made it work and bilked so many advantages out of people who disdained him for his skin, and that it did end slavery in its own way. Good or evil, what mattered most for Spain was that it worked.

    (scribbled on the edges:
    Seriously, what kind of voodoo space magic did he pull to make this possible?)


    The Empty Rolls of the Navy

    Nonetheless, despite the Spanish Empire being at peace in itself for the first time in half a century, the Spanish Navy was left in a poor state. They were left with just four ships in the effective battlefleet (all other ships sold to the self-ruling colonies and only a mild expectation that the armada could be collected again). Torobote needed new ships and he needed them quickly.

    Surprisingly, Torobote pulled his strange wordy magic again and managed to talk the United States into building more of his ships. Likely it was due to how much of an intelligence coup it would be, the US Navy would have a clear idea of what goes into those ships and how they performed. That predictability would be very useful in case they ever faced each other in war, and the money paid could be put to building their own more effective ships.

    As December 1899 turned into January 1900, everyone looked at Spain with a mixture of pity and disdain. Even Austria-Hungary, who had no real colonial assets to speak of, could beat them up - that everyone prophesized the death of Spain as a Great Power.

    But Torobote's madness wasn't done just yet.
     
    Last edited:
    5.1 February 1900
  • 2019-04-02_001028.png

    peng-smallfaces02.jpg
    I have no idea what I'm doing.

    The manual doesn't tell me anything about these.

    peng-smallfaces04a.jpg
    But this one looks promising.



    2019-04-02_001042.png

    peng-smallfaces04c.jpg
    Yes this eye-searing yellow pleases Pietro.

    2019-04-02_004840.png

    peng-smallfaces-01.jpg
    So now we advance the month and get some funding into our coffers.


    2019-04-02_004916.png

    peng-smallfaces03.jpg
    Let's look around the map and oshite Japan might still be a competitor here.

    peng-smallfaces06.jpg
    And I can't even spy on them!

    2019-04-02_005033.png

    peng-smallfaces06a.jpg
    France and Great Britain are our main competitors in Asia.

    Knocking out Hong Kong would be such a herculean task from the sea.

    2019-04-02_004953.png
    2019-04-02_005009.png

    2019-04-02_005017.png
    2019-04-02_005022.png

    peng-smallfaces-08.jpg
    To be honest I only remember most of these from that Battle 360 series documentary about USS Enteprise CV-9's exploits in the Pacific War.

    Land-based air has advantages over carrier-based air in that you can store more aircraft and fuel compared to a floating airstrip. Three hundred planes in an atoll defended by mines should be enough to overwhelm most naval air contingents.

    peng-smallfaces-08a.jpg
    But the United States has brought a thousand planes to the party.

    peng-smallfaces04a.jpg
    Wait, what is that on the bottom right there...?
     
    Last edited:
    5.2 February 1900
  • 2019-04-02_005057.png

    peng-smallfaces04.jpg
    The Bismarck Archipelago?!

    Was... was that thing, OTL?

    peng-smallfaces04c.jpg
    Oooh. It's Papua New Guinea. I see Rabaul and remember how that was important in World War 2.

    peng-smallfaces05.jpg
    SOLOMON! I HAVE RETURNED!
    Wait no, that's Gundam.

    peng-smallfaces04g.jpg
    Odd, I've always through it was British. The region is even called New Britain. On the Bismarck Sea?
    Germany lost it in WW1, claimed by Australia, and then it just became indelibly part of the Anglosphere. Britannia's really good at that sort of cultural invasion.


    2019-04-02_005345.png

    peng-smallfaces04b1.jpg
    Let's move around to check our possessions in the other half of the world.


    2019-04-02_005138.png
    2019-04-02_182906.png

    2019-04-02_182921.png
    2019-04-02_182942.png

    peng-smallfaces04f.jpg
    As expected, sugar-producing Cuba closer to the European markets is a heckuva lot more valuable than the eternal money drain that is the Philippines.
    Guantanamo Bay is our main fleet base in the Carib. A Puerto Rico is fine too.


    2019-04-02_005149.png
    2019-04-02_005210.png

    peng-smallfaces02.jpg
    Let's spend a little to improve our colonial fleet basing and then we can go to the next month and start building our ships.
     
    6.1 March 1900
  • 2019-04-02_005353.png

    peng-smallfaces02.jpg
    Huh. Why?
    It's not like they have any colonies that need protection.


    2019-04-02_005515.png

    peng-smallfaces02a.jpg
    They already have three Armored Cruisers in the 7000-8800 ton range, what's their problem?

    It's not like they telepathically know we might want to test our new fleet by smacking them around.


    2019-04-02_005522.png

    peng-smallfaces03.jpg
    Wow these guys suck way worse than us.

    peng-smallfaces04f.jpg
    [DESIRE TO BULLI INTENSIFIES]

    2019-04-02_005535.png

    peng-smallfaces04b.jpg
    The Ezhe... ezreh...
    The Gargling Noises Franz Ferdinand class battleship is basically the same thing as the Habsburg class battleship.

    Wait on that note, aren't we Spanish technically ruled by a Habsburg right now?

    peng-smallfaces-01.jpg
    Wait, no, we are Bourbons. Our monarchs are not a mess of mutated inbreeding anymore.

    The Spanish Empire was the greatest during the Habsburg line, but our tercios roaming up and down Europe fueled by the gold of the New World eventually passed along with the sanity of our rulers and then it was France's time to seek being a European hegemon.

    2019-04-02_005515.png

    peng-smallfaces04.jpg
    Anyway let's go back to the assets of the Austria-Hungarians to see if we really can pick a fight with them.

    Ooh. Six inchers. That might possibly be a threat to our Furiosa class Very Light Cruisers. Though their attempt for a nearly unarmored Super Destroyer it's twice as heavy, not that much faster than regular cruisers, and doesn't even have armored conning towers.

    2019-04-01_043920.png

    2019-03-31_103922.png

    peng-smallfaces04f.jpg
    Our Furiosa is two knots faster and theirs is not fast enough to run away from our Adobo-class.

    2019-04-02_005453.png

    peng-smallfaces03c.jpg
    Oh no I forget that the CSA is also a Custom nation. Boo.

    I do not relish this infringement to our unique Castilian yellow. People would be mistaking our ships for theirs.
     
    Last edited:
    6.2 March 1900
  • 2019-04-02_005727.png

    peng-smallfaces02.jpg
    We are finally showing some presence in the Caribbean.

    2019-04-02_005736.png

    peng-smallfaces02.jpg
    Though it's been two months and our Pacific fleet hasn't arrived in South East Asia yet.
    Well at least since our Cruisers are decently designed, with fittings for long colonial service, and our crews vaguely competent... they can't be worse than the Russian Pacific Fleet.

    peng-smallfaces04c.jpg
    There's not many things even capable of being worse than the Russian Pacific Fleet.



    peng-smallfaces04b1.jpg
    So we just end March of 1900 with 2.96 million in the bank and will lay down new keels next month.

    2019-04-02_005748.png

    peng-smallfaces03.jpg
    Bwuh?
     
    7.1 April 1900
  • 2019-04-02_005821.png

    peng-smallfaces04c.jpg
    Looks like our King had a snarky good time.

    Austria-Hungary didn't like that.

    2019-04-02_005858.png

    peng-smallfaces04b.jpg
    (Palpatine voice) Do it.

    2019-04-02_010017.png

    peng-smallfaces04f.jpg
    And we still have more than half left over.

    2019-04-02_010142.png

    Hit me baby one more time!

    2019-04-02_010200.png

    peng-smallfaces02.jpg
    Four torpedo botes, and then six gunbotes.


    2019-04-02_010209.png

    peng-smallfaces04g.jpg
    Ha, I wonder what the other nations would get in their next turn report?

    Spain has laid down a CL of the Furiosa-class!
    Spain has laid down a CL of the Furiosa-class!
    Spain has laid down a CL of the Furiosa-class!
    Spain has laid down a DD of the Destructor-class!
    Spain has laid down a DD of the Destructor-class!
    Spain has laid down a DD of the Destructor-class!
    Spain has laid down a DD of the Destructor-class!
    Spain has laid down a DD of the Furor-class!
    Spain has laid down a DD of the Furor-class!
    Spain has laid down a DD of the Furor-class!
    Spain has laid down a DD of the Furor-class!
    Spain has laid down a DD of the Furor-class!
    Spain has laid down a DD of the Furor-class!


    peng-smallfaces04a.jpg
    Accelerating construction, though with higher monthly costs would allow us to shave two months off the build time.

    2019-04-02_010240.png

    peng-smallfaces04b1.jpg
    But it's not worth it for these small DDs. It's just an extra month.


    I think we've done all we can for now, let's nap and see what happens next turn.
     
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