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  • she hate bein' alive. she hate herself. she hate her face, the shape of her body, and her annoying teen girls' voice. she hate the way she talk, the way she act, the ways she feel and think. she hates everything about how she deal with the world. she hates bein' homeless, she hates having a home where she's either hated or alone. she hates loveless relationships that turn physically violent or emotionally dead. she hates finally finding the friend, companion or home she wanna have and need... and then they inevitably hate her, no second chances, cut the fuck off.

    she hates friends who leave tho understands it all her fault. she hates that she hates.

    she hates art she creates, it's purple prose romcom garbages. she hates the purposelessness of her life. she hates when she has a purpose in life. she hates love. she loves love. she hates that she hates and loves love. she hates bein' terrified constantly, tho knows it's very practical, because more than she ever hates...

    people hate her. and wanna kill her dead. la, la, la~ /dances badly
    Welcome back stray cat.
    S
    sneakykitten
    she's also a bulldog learnin new tricks, a kind one, according to some sources. so now she's imagining, a kitty that looks kinda like a doggy.

    what up how are you?
    Eliar
    Eliar
    Same old same old. Passing life mostly with a few spots of weirness here and there.
    S
    sneakykitten
    her life has a routine now, tho since thieves took her cash, she can't start school to get a better payin' job yet. so she waits to be let into the girls' shelter. wow, they have a lot of food there, tho the guests have no interest in gettin' to know each other.
    Likes: Eliar
    breakin the rules. sighs. if she had, somethin else to do, or some kinda life then she'd be busy tho she don't. there's nothin in this city for a girl like her except odd jobs. and they don't pay good, you could get sick, the customers are complete a-holes. and there's tons of, entitle ppl here, who seem to feel tings like, 'i can be a good mommy by sitting in an alleyway.'

    she doesn't understand why, ppl treat bein h omeless like a vacay from their real lives. if i t were her, she would wanna get back to bein at least semi present in her real life. instead they waste their days. tho this kitty does too.
    Like, this is a true story: one time she had a sexy stalker. This lovely, dominating, woman was super interested in thing about her. Like, how she feels on sex roleplays, how she feels on, love and hate and accepting... gifts, ahaha?

    This internet woman, who is so, so nice and sympathetic make kitty open up all sort of ways, ahaha.

    Why did she wanna know about kitty? She not unique, her flirt styles are all, seen before and she is trashy, low class, eating confuse, weird freaky girl who know about how to be very polite like, mind control for hours, so hot.

    We were into each other then her Mistress decide, that kitty was not gonna be fine and put a if you wanna say, network, of friends to watch her.

    What does this mean? That sometimes, love means, kitty give up ever feel happy or knowing her friend and Mistress. To be watch via video camera everywhere by, people who come into her life to fuck with her, thank you.

    It actually went on for years and years, where, as Mistress make new friends, sh.e add them to the networks. Since kityy is, um, kinda wanna trust strangers w/her life bunches tho not a huge amount, join in where they start reading her mind, by watching her on the cameras and reading online

    Kitty is broke and too trusting. She feels high emotions, and, has no self, no likes, no boundaries to her body, and would give herself up to any body. These friends would send, caring tho sadistic ppl to, hurt her, read her mind and she must be their slave. This is like confusing and super sexy, why, would she have a club that wanna follow her and help her get injure or abuse??
    t-dugong
    t-dugong
    :) sneakykitten and t-dugong, friends forever. I like that, yes I do.
    S
    sneakykitten
    and whenever you got something you wanna talk about, she'll be here. as for a urban fantasy story, she was thinking: a girl goes to a high school populated by fantasy people and real people. there's some magic, tho the focus is mostly on their relationships, maybe with a quest mix in there somewhere.
    t-dugong
    t-dugong
    That sounds like a good story. :)

    Also, I'm glad you're my friend, kitten. *blushes*
    T-dugong, having not known about urban fantasy except her idea what it mean, definitely gonna look at articles about, like, wevs relating to write a story.

    Um, ScreenXSurfer if you were complaining about her ideas on 'hate speech' and yes you always know more than her on any isue, then why not say kitty is a dumb child?

    You know that, terrifying her with call outs is a winning game plan for sure, thank you so, so much
    t-dugong
    t-dugong
    Ah, I think Neil Gaiman wrote a couple of novels in the urban fantasy genre. It's interesting because there are more and more people living in cities and urban landscapes these days, and I'd like to see what writers would make of it.
    S
    sneakykitten
    Um, she feels bad, because it start about senmut, then umm. Well you don't need to be hurt again, she never, ever gonna feel like you did anything wrong.

    Please forgive me. Or, if you wanna, she feels like you didn't do anything wrong.

    Today is stressful in ways, and she broke, she never say it again. Sorry.....

    And, so stressful, she forgot that it wasn't even, focusing on perpetrator or trying to accuse any one person, it was about your post partially, tho the rest about Senmut and, feels like, the culture on website with focus on politeness, allow girls to be hurt badly by toxic internet forum behavior, like dog piling a bad post like mine, tho only you and that other person quote to respond, she probs misread what you say.
    S
    sneakykitten
    Ooh, so that guy he, seem to hate TG girls. Anyway. She going on with life, and, some tricky situations and feelings, keep her writing away tho she does wanna make that kinda story she live, in, a city kinda.
    Today got a shot, it, started to burn her skin. Well, a shot and a blood draw. They both hurt, tho the second was terrifying. The second time the woman drew blood, she got it.

    Then talk to caregivers. Sign here and here and

    Thank you to everybody, especially two friends who post here often.
    S
    sneakykitten
    Well, she need a shot of another kind of medicine t-dugong. And she was gonna get a number, and forgot, tho she asks the doctor.

    Happy New year Eliar.

    Tho it isn't always happy.
    t-dugong
    t-dugong
    Hold what happiness comes your way, sneakykitten. Let the sadness go gently and hold the happiness tenderly, as my grandmother used to say.
    JUSTSOMEALIN
    JUSTSOMEALIN
    Happy new Year, Kitten! I hope everything will be okay. Stay safe, stay smiling, and keep up the good work.
    Today a man scream, that she is being crazy and demand she leave the entire area. She practice boundaries so it sucked. Tried to say back off and, nothing. Sigh. When does the kitty find a safe home?
    Friends return and got caregiving scheduled gonna look for a job opportunities or a GED. This, on top of 'negotiations on birth control.' Or wevs they call what they doin...

    When is it that doctor and counselor send a kitty back and forth to each other wah?

    Poor baby kitty, she need to be taken care of, where a kitty hospital? Oh wait, she remember that, kitty hospitals aren't very nice to strays who are starved~ ♡
    Today she hopes to write more story wevs, and visit with a person, and look for work.
    Umm. What anybody feel about, "you're only alive because I helped you dear??"

    Like, this person helped her so yes it true, tho they keep... finding her. To tell her about cops and stuffs omg....

    Tired and on edge. She would love to help this person tho they put her in danger too. And some of the ting they say are. So, so smart. That she can't respond, it would just be so. So dumb and borin to them.
    t-dugong
    t-dugong
    It sounds like someone's taking advantage of you, sneakykitten. Yes that person may have saved your life once but that doesn't mean they can talk like that. It's dishonest and predatory.
    S
    sneakykitten
    It's confusing. People like that can be so sweet and nice. Then it turn into a huge blowout argument. This guy was gonna leave her anyway he walk up a hill she slip with her heels, then tell her it her fault, it was. She should have follow better

    What to do if ppl like that show up again??
    Shared some candy and cigs with a lady, she was so nice and she let me have a cig too. We talked about how we need to do thing today. She say she's bored.

    Then we go to the smoking area, they just made it.
    Today she stay at shelter, then go be alone. It's fun.

    Thank you. You being around helps alot. She could name ppl, tho she doesn't have permission.
    Today she decide, that she must be alone, and love only for others. She done trying to share these diary thingies, at least until something big change. She doesn't love herself tho she still try to look pretty.
    She feels like her stories suck, she sucks, life is icky and gross. And all she can do is wait, and the people helping don't call back. Nobody ever talk to her first, she's always gotta say something first.

    It clear her feeling, writing and life are boring, so she's restricted her access.
    S
    sneakykitten
    *hugs t-dugong*

    Thank you. You are always a good person to read, some of your posts informative, funny, smart.

    Hope to see you around.
    t-dugong
    t-dugong
    *cosplay as the Dude*

    The dugong abides... :)
    S
    sneakykitten
    Don't know that quote, tho she get a funny image. Well, today, like everyday when she follows J's advice, she got nobody, and nothing to do. She would chat w/J again, tho she on a vacay until next month~
    Why does she write anywhere? Nothing she says seem to attract anybody's interests.
    Eliar
    Eliar
    Oh? Well until fairly recently ur profile did not accept comments? Except for the mods that is.

    Merry Christmas to you and I hope the new year finds you in better spirits and circumstances
    S
    sneakykitten
    Whaat...? Weird she don't remember how her profile got no comments.

    Merry Christmas and hope your life is goin okay, would love to hear from You anytime. ^_^
    World really dislike her, apparently she's

    1. Always dangerously moody
    2. A 'covert, heavily made up, trendy narcissist.'
    3. A b word whose doing something bad always.
    4. A bad sis, friend and mommy figure.
    5. Allowed to sink or swim, in eating disorder, mental and physical pain.

    World is lovely la, la, la~ ♡
    t-dugong
    t-dugong
    *pats sneakykitten's shoulder and sit beside her*
    S
    sneakykitten
    *sits* you are a ☆
    S
    sneakykitten
    U should have been there, t-dugong, it was hella awesome bein only there to fulfill temporary needs and then sent out over five backdoors, with wevs was in my purse, if that.

    It was hella awesome bein so narcissistic she gave up her life to try to help Mommy, or Teresa or K or Amie or these two guys or this one over here or hey, some girl need me to heavily change everything she does and oops, now sexy times over, get out.

    Should've been there, like, such great lovely times.
    Lots of ppl stop by. She got brand name body lotion, nail clippers and little candies? Grateful that ppl she doesn't know do that, tho unsure why.
    Thing she learns:

    1. She must be submitting and giving, else she's discarded like trash.

    2. People are charitable.

    3. People are aggressive when u 'take their spot,' when they are actually taking 2 or more spots.

    4. Regular choices to change what she put in her body are lovely.

    5. Businesses seem to like her?

    6. Giving her cell number is good.
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